The Secret Life of...

Yang sudah lama tidak dijaga

2012-01-17T00:47:00.000-08:00

Bacalah Quran sebagaimana engkau membaca dahulu

Bacalah Quran dengan membayangkan gurumu berada di depan

Bacalah Quran untuk pedoman

Bacalah Quran untuk kebaikan

Bacalah dengan sebaik-baik bacaan

Bacalah dengan ikhlas

Ilalliqa' salam alaikum>>>I have read my goals for today

Resolusi singkat

2012-01-08T06:11:00.001-08:00

Tinggal seminggu cuti berbaki. Ingin membuat resolusi short term. Masih teringat goal yang dibuat setahun yang lalu, terasa bagaikan baru sahaja ditulis. Begitu juga tagline yang dibuat kat bawah ni untuk mengingatkan diri, "I have read my goals for today".

Resolusi itu ialah, dalam masa seminggu, ingin cuba khatamkan video bahasa arab madina dan video neuroanatomy. Dan kurangkan pembacaan benda lain yang mungkin memakan masa.

Dan kepada anda, kata2 ku dulu, insyaAllah masa akan memadamkan memori itu. Sungguh ia makin terpadam.

Ilalliqa' salam alaikum>>>I have read my goals for today

Bawah

2012-01-06T13:30:00.000-08:00

Feeling down.

Sewaktu sembang dengan rakan, ada tersebut, kalaula skang aku pegi amik cikgu maths, kan bahagia, study xdelah teruk macam ni. hafal xdela banyak snagat macam ni. tapi masalahnya, aku ni x fit jadi cikgu, x berapa sesuai.

Jadi doktor ok. Tapi study untuk medic tu...aduh....

Jadi, disaat 'bawah' sekarang ni, memerlukan benda2 yang inspiring. Download movie. X pasti nak layan laskar pelangi, sang pemimpi ataupun 3 idiots.

Walaupun sekarang ni sebenarnya tengah cuti. Heheh.

Memerlukan semangat....semangat....

Teringat kisah seorang doktor yang susah payah untuk amik medic, walaupun umur dah tua. http://simonsim.wordpress.com/2011/12/01/malaysian-doctor/ . Aku iri hati, dengan beliau, dengan semangat beliau, dengan visinya yang jelas. Aku??? Sebetulnya cita2 mana yang jelas untuk aku?

Ilalliqa' salam alaikum>>>I have read my goals for today

Still love it

2011-12-12T09:11:00.000-08:00

Almost lose faith with pharmacology.

After the exam, still love it!

I wonder how happy is a doctor who don't really practise healthy lifestyle. I mean, why on earth did they study medicine then?

Ilalliqa' salam alaikum

I have read my goals for today

Saya senyum tatkala...mereka sembang lebat

2011-12-09T10:15:00.000-08:00

Video ni dah jadi sangat popular. Propaganda.

Saya masih x faham kenapa ramai sangat orang terkejut besar dan sedih, apabila video ni dikeluarkan. Betul apa. Maksud saya, bukan betul apa yang diorang kata tapi betul kan situasi ni, dan sepatutnya kita dah sedar kat Malaysia dah lama ada orang2 macam ni bila melihatkan peristiwa2 bersejarah di Malaysia.

Bukanlah saya tak sensitif dengan keadaan ni. Tapi kalau tengok video ni dan berapa orang dislike dah tahu, betapa tahap mana IQ golongan2 ni. Dan dalam realitinya, di kedai2 kopi memang ada la golongan ni. Saya tersenyum lagi kerana video ni hanya dituju kpd golongan kedai kopi pakcik2 luar bandar yg selalu vote diorang tu. Tapi malangnya, penonton youtube ni terdiri daripada golongan lain. Pakcik kat kedai kopi tu mana nak tengok benda ni. lulz.

Baiklah bercakap pasal penonton yg serba gundah gulana menonton video ni.

Faham tak?

Kewujudan perasaan itu menjadi bermakna apabila kita berusaha selepasnya. Kerana emosi itu bertujuan untuk memeberitahu kita bahawa kita kena lakukan sesuatu. Terpulang kepada jenisnya. Contoh, tengah marah. Apa sebenarnya yg kita kena lakukan untuk hilangkan perasaan tu? Kenapa marah tu timbul? Sedih, apa yg menyebabkan kesedihan, dan apa sebenarnya signal yang badan kita nak bagi dengan emosi tersebut? Mungkin badan kita memberi signal untuk kita bergerak dan mencari solusi kepada permasalahan. Selagi kita menangisinya dan idak bergerak selagi itu, emosi itu berada di situ. Kerana signal tersebut tidak akan hilang selagi tujuan signal itu timbul kita tidak laksanakan.

Saya masih rasa it's not worth it untuk setakat marah, sedih, mencaci kat FB lepas tengok video ni. Lepas tu tak buat apa2 pon. Pastu cakap, aku tak mampu nak hunus pedang dekat korang ke apa, hanya doa supaya korang dipanah petir je aku mampu berikan. Ok, let's not be so radical here. Apa kata korang balik Malaysia vote je kepada yang sepatutnya. Kalau dah vote, ajak lah orang lain yang tak sedar2 pasal politik Islam untuk vote sama. Ye, ada orang yang Islam situ sini, tapi balik Malaysia tak nak vote, sebab itulah inilah. Saya tak kisah jika anda nak berlainan kumpulan pon, tapi faham tak konsep melengkapi. Jadi, join je la kumpulan anda tapi balik Malaysia vote lah!

Vote sape? Arghhhh. Parti Islam la.

Kenapalah budak2 oversea ni fikiran macam racist?! Sampaikan nak turunkan orang lama dan naikkan orang lain kat Malaysia pon tak terjadi atas sebab, "that's not our group". What group??? You're doing this for group???? Why U no logic? Kalau taknak guna logik akal, guna dalil. Tapi masalahnya bila orang debat guna dalil, cakap kasarlah, biarlah kita berbeza pendapat lah. Yes, I can accept perbezaan, but what's the solution to the whole thing? The bigger thing?

I dun get it!

Our society is going down, but with a new hope of the rise of this new enlightened generation. Tolonglah, don't be so immature when dealing with serious stuff.

Ilalliqa' salam alaikum>>>I have read my goals for today

Cramming

2011-12-07T13:36:00.001-08:00

Bermaksud menghadap buku bermula seminggu sebelum exam, selama paling kurang 10 jam sehari.

Persekitaran diendahkan, yang penting........... nota..... mesti...... habis!

Bila pening lalat dek kerana berterusan menatap buku. Kadang2 kecuakan menjelma.

"TERUS, TERUS, HARI JUMAAT ADA VIVA.... TERUS...."

"EH JAP, HARI NI HARI RABU KE...................................................KHAMIS????!!!!!!!"

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

Dengan pantas cek hari dekat laptop tab.

"FIUH, MASIH LAGI RABU" :))))

Ilalliqa' salam alaikum>>>I have read my goals for today

Get the clue

2011-12-04T13:35:00.001-08:00

So, whenever I can't say a word properly, and look almost retarded,. Hope any of you get the clue. I mean, total retarded, not just being awkward, because I'm always awkward.

Haha.

Exam's in a week.

Bila susah hati, mintalah padaNya, merintihlah padaNya. And......it's gonna be fine.

Ilalliqa' salam alaikum>>>I have read my goals for today

Aku, Kyuem, dan pokok

2011-12-02T15:40:00.000-08:00

Jika anda dapat detect nama DIN kat pokok tu, anda legend! Haha.

Pokok tu adalah pokok sebelah chalet waktu kat Ky dulu. Kawasan sapphire.

Dulu, kalau nak buat memori kat situ, lepas habis exam kitorang pegi main air pancut kat padang. Ingat lagi, lepas habis exam chemistry kalau x silap. Ada lagi gambar.

Tapi, terlupa, pada hari last ataupun sehari sebelum rasanya, waktu kolej tengah lengang, saya nekad panjat pokok sebelah chalet dan pahatkan nama kat situ. Susah payah naik sampai melecet tangan.

Setelah fly, terlupa ada nama kat situ. Dan baru2 baru teringat balik, dan mintak sorang sahabat ambikkan gambar.

And it's still there.

Ilalliqa' salam alaikum>>>I have read my goals for today

One of the subjects!

2011-11-29T13:02:00.000-08:00

Love pharmacology.

When I was in secondary school, add math was the favorite one. The one I will for whatever reason strive to score.

Thank God, I have pharmacology for my medical favorite subject, so far. Remembering all the weird names, it got me excited!

But still have anatomy and biochem to finish. Sigh~ well, still have to strive for them too. Yosh!

Ilalliqa' salam alaikum>>>I have read my goals for today

Advice from a lil girl

2011-11-25T08:50:00.000-08:00

So, I finished my last pharmacology session this semester with a quiz. It went ok, not well, just ok, but so much fun.

When I was walking back home, which took me around 20 minutes, I bumped into a little girl, walking along with her grandma, I guess. There's nothing really special about it until, I heard that little girl said something to her grandma so loud that I remember it until now

"Wherever you go, God follows you!"

Ya muqallibal qulub, tsabatkanlah hati kami dalam perjuangan untuk agamaMu.

Ilalliqa' salam alaikum>>>I have read my goals for today

You know you have to do something

2011-11-24T07:29:00.000-08:00

It's difficult when we have friends, and when they're in trouble, we don't know how to help them.

And we know they're facing a difficult situation. We know it. We know they are thinking about their problem, just by looking at how they talk.

Unfortunately, we don't know what to do.

Ilalliqa' salam alaikum>>>I have read my goals for today

Test samada diri sedang depress atau tidak

2011-11-22T20:56:00.000-08:00

Rasanya saya sendiri pernah berada dalam depressing mode bila baca balik pasal depression. Juga disebabkan semalam kitorang discuss pasal communication skill untuk masalah2 depression. Walaupun kitorang main2, tapi dalam satu ayat yang saya ceritakan sewaktu menjadi patient, itu adalah cerita benar.

"Doctor, Im not sure what's happening to me, I think I've lost my life. feel like, lost in this new world. For most of the night, I can hardly go to sleep, it took me 1 hour to fall asleep. In that 1 hour, I will just lie on my bed, thinking about small things that I should not even remember, problems, sometimes, I just lie there, listening to every second of the clock ticking, thinking about nothing. It's just the darkness, me and the clock. I forced my eyes to close, waiting to be taken into the new restful world. I have lost interest to the things that I like before. I used to enjoy doing martial arts stuff. I used to google everything about martial arts, but now, feel like, I have completely changed. I can't study, when I went to classes, my mind just wasn't there. I was so scared to sit for the exam because I can memorize nothing, my mind won't let me. Sometimes, my hand get tremors, but I deny that. I think Im ok. But, with all these changes, I honestly don't know. Right now, I feel like I wanna go to a far away jungle and get lost in that forest forever"

Antara lakonan saya semalam yang ditokok tambah obviously. Walaupun sesi semalam terasa seperti sedikit sahaja kebaikannya, tapi ia sendiri telah banyak memberikan clue kepada diri sendiri. "I've been there."

Namun depression dan normal stress adalah berlainan, contohnya tempoh masa kita dalam mood down. Untuk detect depression, lihat kriteria di bawah. Dan masalah depression sepatutnya dirawat, bukan dinafikan kewujudannya. Namun 70% masalah ini di kalangan remaja tidak didedahkan kerana tiada perasaan perlu untuk pergi sejauh itu, walaupun mengetahui masalah tersebut telah banyak memberikan kesan kepada hidup.

Key symptoms:

persistent sadness or low mood;and/or
loss of interests or pleasure
fatigue or low energy

at least one of these, most days, most of the time for at least 2 weeks

if any of above present, ask about associated symptoms:

disturbed sleep
poor concentration or indecisiveness
low self-confidence
poor or increased appetite
suicidal thoughts or acts
agitation or slowing of movements
guilt or self-blame

the 10 symptoms then define the degree of depression and management is based on the particular degree
- not depressed (fewer than four symptoms)
- mild depression (four symptoms)
- moderate depression (five to six symptoms)
- severe depression (seven or more symptoms, with or without psychotic symptoms)
- symptoms should be present for a month or more and every symptom should be present for most of every day

Ilalliqa' salam alaikum>>>I have read my goals for today

Thank you Allah

2011-11-13T12:21:00.001-08:00

Alhamdulillah.

Ya Allah.

Feel like now I am back to the old me, the me 6 years ago.

Im saying this in terms of my study. I can now feel the studying that Im doing. I no longer sigh on the amount of things to study. no longer lamenting on the struggle to start opening books. no longer feel so far away from my study material.

Alhamdulillah. This is one nikmat that I have lost since few years ago. It was really hard when Allah took this away from me. Looking at notes and books without feeling the urge or the excitement to read it, made me feel like a robot. Forcing myself to open the books, to learn and memorize, forcing my brain, while my heart never really intend to know all those things.

The heart kept asking questions, while my brain did not know the answer to it, but my brain knew I need to study. So, that's how the robot of mine, get through college year. Need to work on it no matter what. Tough decision though.

Hearing my colleagues from kyuem talking about medical staff made me more clueless. They talk about how their uni differ than others, but then I was barely interested to talk about my uni. I did not have anything to talk about other than, there were loads to study, and they were all so hard to learn. That's when my heart spoke the truth. But not total truth, I never told my friends what's really going on. The war between my heart and my brain. Because I believed, we can always fix things.

I always wonder, why can't I be like the me when I was in high school. In those days, everything went smooth, opening books did not really feel like THAT hard. Anytime, I can go and start the engine, and vroom. Even it was 12 subjects, my heart never argue with my brain, they both agree to just go for it, and not asking many questions about it.

So yes, during the hard years, I always wondered about this, why can't I go back to normal again?

I know the old me like practising taekwondo. Even when I was at home. My imagination went wild when I think about fighting someone. I built my own kicking area in the backyard.

I lose that one too, little by little, that spirit in me just gone. That made my life more dull.

But, alhamdulillah, that spirit has grown back. And I am now doing my own hobby again.

Just, thank you Allah.

Ilalliqa' salam alaikum>>>I have read my goals for today

And pelajar medik

2011-11-06T13:59:00.001-08:00

Yang sentiasa mencari cara untuk menjadikan medik lebih fun?

Join MedDay! haha. I skipped, for studying. Well, not really.

But also, found this one http://www.doctorshangout.com/

Banyak tips2.

Dan ni, kembali :) http://medchrome.com/medicalcolleges/student-life/regaining-confidence-failure/

€Ilalliqa' salam alaikum>>>I have read my goals for today

Proses membiasakan diri untuk exercise

2011-11-03T14:01:00.001-07:00

Selepas setahun membaca blog stronglifts.com, barulah terasa ingin mempraktik apa yang diajar, setelah banyak praktis cara exercise yang lain yang komplikated dan memakan masa. Maka bermulalah perjalanan untuk start program 5X5 SL. Terfikir juga, sejauh mana agaknya diri ni akan stay dengan program. Waktu tu, pertengahan bulan 8, bulan puasa. Setelah nekad, maka bermulalah ia.

Mula2, since kat rumah takde benda alah barbell dan plate, maka imaginasi digunakan sepenuhnya untuk menggunakan barang2 terpakai kat sekelling rumah, dan terjumpalah batang besi dan juga bekas air. Ok, set. Dengan menggunakan penimbang berat serbaguna yang dibeli kat dublin tahun lepas, bekas air tu diguna untuk dijadikan weight yang sesuai. Inilah hasilnya.

3 kali seminggu benda ni lah digunapakai untuk aktiviti 5X5SL. Squat, overhead press, bench press, barbell row, deadlift. Bukak puasa, solat, dalam pukul 10 bermulalah aktiviti. Pengalaman2.

Tapi, bekas air ni pon ada limit beratnya, hanya mampu capai 40Kg paling berat. Nak tak nak, akhirnya kena gak cari alternatif. Pikir punya pikir, tengok kat luar rumah. Ting, dapat idea. Gunakan tayar lori kecik! Satu 25 Kg. Dan terciptalah benda kat bawah ni.

Guna tayar ni kejap je, seminggu lebih, sebab waktu tu dah nak fly. Memang seksa gak nak guna, since besi ta cukup kuat nak tahan berat more than 50Kg, akhirnya bengkok. Tu last day exercise kat Malaysia.

Setelah tiba di Dublin, seminggu lepas tu, nekad. Nak beli barbell sendiri. Pegi, Argos, carik yang 50Kg punya barbell. Yes! Akhirnya, dimiliki juga benda alah kat bawah ni.

Setelah 2 minggu menggunkaan barbell ni, terpaksa beli lagi 20Kg pemberat. Tak cukup space nak capai 60Kg. Dan sampai lagi satu tahap, tak cukup space nak capai 70Kg, terpaksa lagi iupgrade dengan imaginasi sendiri, muncullah benda kat bawah. Tambah berat dengan membalut pemberat tambahan dekat kain sarung. Lol.

Dan akhirnya, melihatkan masa depan yang memerlukan sekitar 100Kg. Terus nekad view kat ebay, pemberat 30Kg. Confirm, buy! Dan akhirnya sampai juga ke rumah! Semoga dapat bertahan untuk at least sebulan lagi.

Pada mulanya sangsi samada dapat teruskan program ni ke tidak. Selalunya, ramai je orang yang berhenti tengah jalan, katanya susah. Mungkin disebabkan benda ni simple dan mencabar yang menyebabkan terasa ingin terus buat, berbanding cara exercise yang lain. Dan juga bila ada logbook, maksudnya, rekod pencapaian kita, kita tahu, setiap kali exercise, we are improving. Tak sangka sudah 2 bulan setengah berlalu.

Sebenarnya kaedah exercise ni banyak mengajar kaedah2 lain dalam hidup untuk terus maju.

Semoga dapat memberikan fokus untuk belajar dan menyumbang kepada ummah. Yoash!

ps/ things that i absolutely wanna buy one day

Ilalliqa' salam alaikum

I have read my goals for today

Skills....

2011-10-28T10:17:00.000-07:00

Skill im currently developing. It's so much fun, and full of hopes. I actually tried it 2 months ago, and I really can remember stuff so much easier. There's a lot to tell.

Ilalliqa' salam alaikum>>>I have read my goals for today

Planning masa tinggal sebelum mati

2011-10-27T11:40:00.000-07:00

Im not yet a good time manager. Yes, I know.

And what's the most obvious problem Im having now? Wasting too much time on facebook. I know that and Im aware that average everyday usage of FB for me is so far at least 2 hours. 2 hours of my life. I don't really use it for socializing. More to looking what can I read for the day, what's interesting news people are talking, what videos I can watch and somehow I will end up on youtube, that kinda stuff.

It gave me bad effects rather than good. After thinking about it, now, I know what to do. I just need an application to block it. Apps that can block myself from opening the page from my laptop because I still need internet for my works. So, I found this one http://www.facebooklimiter.com/.

Hopefully, Im a better planner after this. I wonder how many things I can learn and memorize by using this additional time. Oh, I sense something exciting.

(oh I haven't reply comment fro previous post, I will :)))

Ilalliqa' salam alaikum>>>I have read my goals for today

Little confession of luv

2011-10-21T22:50:00.000-07:00

Ok, I'm gonna say it.

You know what, I have been liking you for years. We are not like, literally together, but I think we are somehow, attracted to each other, it's like, we kept giving clues to each other because we don't talk to each other, obviously. Well, I will not talk to you in front of other people, just don't want my friends to talk behind my back, you know. I don't think this is some kind of random feeling, I know I am attracted to you, for various reasons, good and bad.

I am not liking you because of your.....physical appearing, well yes, you are beautiful and everything, you always are, even how bad the day is. I think other people thought the same too. I hope they will just shut their mouth, since I don't like to share this chemistry between us, with other people. Grrrrr.

But you know what, in certain days, there are times, people like me, guys, we really can't be too engrossed to thinking about you. There are days when we were burdened with problem, and in order to solve that problem, we have to eliminate you from our life for a moment, we rarely include you in our problem solving, because we, the guys, always are the mr fixer, we know what we have to do. Well, that's what I did. I think I need to refocus, and solve the problem I was having, and for that reason, I exclude you for a moment. But don't worry, I'm coming back, it's just natural thing. So, I hope you would understand. If you don't, I'll be sad, but I'll be fine eventually.

You know, most of the times, my heart will say, just go and be together. I can do that, just like that, no big deal. But, I'm also a man with principle, so my logic don't work like that. My logic says, I have to think for long term effect, so I need to be apart for a while. Between my heart and my logic, I go with logic. So, I left you, hopefully just for a moment, and hopefully, I'll be back with a new me.

During that problem solving period, I'm still hoping you will be waiting, just like what you always did, at the same spot as before. It's not what I like to do, but it's something that I have to.

Dear katil empuk, I love you

Show encrypted text

Ilalliqa' salam alaikum>>>I have read my goals for today

Nak jadi burung yang awal.

2011-10-18T12:24:00.000-07:00

Ok. Fast update.

I think I like to plan more and more. I just need to replan my study, that's it. I have the why to study, and the urge, to share the dream, da da da, but just one more thing. I need to wake up, early morning.

You know, everything in this world, there is already a template. What kind of person you wanna be, what jokes you wanna make, what kind of exercise you wanna follow(what kind of result you wanna get), how rich you wanna be, how knowledgable you wanna be. What you wish, there is a really really high probability, that the previous human being has done that! Even what kind of problem you're having, among the billions of people living in earth since thousands years ago, certainly there are people who had been through the same thing and most probably most of them have the solution too!

So, my template that I need now is, how do I wake up early in the morning? I have done that before. Obviously during exam season. Exactly when I was in college. The only drive for me to study hard that time was because of my promise to a lot of people that I will fly. Yes, that words, "I will fly", when I tell my parent, kin, friends, even strangers. In order not to be embarrassed since I've told lot of people about it, I decided to mug day and night, in the last month, just one month before the final exam. And I did actually sleep less, and woke up early morning, and go straight to notes. Alhamdulillah everything went well.

Know what the old me did? Sleeping on a plywood-bed, without the thick comfy mattress. Yeah, I actually invent that. Guess what, doing that, plus the"I need to fly" determination, I successfully woke up early morning.

Now, since I've already 'fly', what else the drive that's left in me? There is one thing, I just found it, december last year. That's another story to tell. Kids, I wanna you to listen to me carefully. (lol, feel like adressing story of my life to my grandchildren now). Let's skip this part.

So, wake up early in the morning, early bird. How on earth can I be this kinda person?

You know what's wrong with following templates from people who has successfully done it? From hundreds of templates which might exist, some of them, don't work for some of us. So, to look for the best template for our mind, our body, our environment, that's gonna take time too.

Ahh. That's just an excuse. So now, I'm looking for a template, a thorough template about, being an early bird.

Ilalliqa' salam alaikum>>>I have read my goals for today

My life plan [edited]

2011-10-16T01:27:00.000-07:00

Lol. SOmeone just said this post is not awsome. Im sorry, I know I said Im gonna post sumthin awsome for this one, but I postpone that, for this. So, let's have a look at the pic. The yellow one, it says, "Jangan direnung letihnya usaha, tetapi renunglah manisnya kejayaan". Good for me, since I always, always contemplate on stuff.

Show encrypted text

password : your initial first name with caps lock

So, this is the plan that I'm going to do. It includes goals that I have. I only need one person to read this. That's all.

This is The Plan.

Ilalliqa' salam alaikum>>>

I have read my goals for today

Benda baru yg best pasal blog

2011-10-12T07:08:00.000-07:00

Oh baru terjumpa satu benda yang cool untuk dibuat kat blogspot. Anda boleh tulis dan post dan anda boleh protect isi kandungan dia dengan menggunakan password protected. Jadi, kandungan tersebut hanya akan dapat dibaca oleh orang yang tahu password. Untuk post yang tiada password, semua orang boleh baca. Wohoo. Kalau wordpress benda ni dah ada, tp blogspot kecoh sket la. Benda ni bukan nak password protect macam kebanyakan blog yang private yang memerlukan kita bagi email semua.

Oh, saya memang ada banyak benda untuk ditulis, yang tak perlu orang baca. Hehehe.

Bukan benda mengarut, cuma benda yang tak perlulah nak dicerita kat semua orang kan. Macam kalau kite nak cerita pasal kolej dulu2, kita letak la hint password pasal kolej, supaya sapa2 budak kolej sekali dnegan kita boleh baca. Nice! Contohnya, password ialah nama house yang dikaitkan dengan labah-labah. Contohnya untuk data dibawah...try click dan masukkan password.

Show encrypted text

Ok, kalau sape yang taktau password, ni password dia : sapphire. Cool kan? Kalau benda ni dah lama wujud, please just ignore my sudden excitement here. Heh.

Next post gonna be awsome!

Ilalliqa' salam alaikum>>>I have read my goals for today

Let's not be so sensitive

2011-09-29T15:04:00.000-07:00

I think guys shouldn't be so sensitive. Of course we have feelings n stuff, we can get mad/hurt when people say certain stuff which we don't like. But it's not gonna kill us right? So, come on, stop being like that, stop being too pampered. Our wife should be like that, it's in their nature. We? Well, just, ignore it maybe? Imagine a couple, and both being so sensitive? Its gonna turn ugly init?

Oh, I actually have the continuation to the previous post, why getting good grades? That's just one part, so, another part will say, why it is worth it to mugging every day. The why is so important to me. It encompass everything that we gonna chose to do later on.

Ilalliqa' salam alaikum>>>I have read my goals for today

Apa yang bagus dengan good grades?

2011-09-25T13:16:00.000-07:00

I have just reread my previous posts 2 years ago. A bit funny, but yes, that was me, and that is still a part of me. Me who was easily pranked, and obsess with weird information, or you call it conspiracy. I'm not gonna delete it because, that was quite a memory. We might have grown and change but that particular me is still, well, quite the same.

I'm gonna talk about a quote that I wrote "Focus and trust ourself". Someone told me that. I have totally forgotten about it if it is not for this blog. I'm gonna thank that person for supporting me, even though I can vaguely remember who was telling me this. I think I got a clue who it was.

But, I guess, I still couldn't not find this "focus" on that time. If I need to focus, I need a goal, an inspirational goal. An interesting goal, that makes you feel like, "whoah, this is awsome and I will get this even how hard it is".

I guess that's what happened to some people. For me, it was a really intriguing moment to think about getting the best results in SPM. The struggle felt like nothing because we're so much engrossed in getting what we consider as, worthwile-compelling-achievement. But once we get that, getting good result will no longer be that kind of feeling. Getting good grades? What's good in getting that? It sounds good, of course, but what's so good about it, that when we get it, we will feel that worthwile-compelling-achievement once again, like what we did in SPM. It's like we now have a new threshold. Good results no longer can bring that joyful feeling. We need something more?

How about our ambition to be a doctor? For some people, they really like the feeling of becoming a future doctor and they strive for it. That drove them to mugging every single nights. That's ok, for some people. But for me, even that kind of ambition did not meet my thirst for that worthwile-compelling-achievement. I know I should get good grades, I know I should sleep less, I know I should be fully organized, but once again for what reward? Good grades? An imagination of us working as a doctor at the wards? The salary?

Rich and happy? I don't think it's that simple. Don't be mistaken, I want to be rich, but being rich and happy is usually a rare occasion. So, a big salary also, not necessarily gonna be that kind of reward.

So, I will tell that person again, thanks for telling me to focus, but my problem was, I couldn't focus on doing something without seeing it's worthy.

Ilalliqa' salam alaikum>>>I have read my goals for today

Untuk diri

2011-09-20T06:57:00.000-07:00

People say logic is our thingy. Guys.

So far, I think logic has been my first defense and sometimes the only defense that I used to avoid me being irrational. That means, whenever i'm about to do stupid things or anything that we consider as wrong, I used logic, facts to curb my burning desire.

Such as when I got angry, I said to myself, maybe the situation is not like what it seems. Or even when people show their anger, I try to smile and thinking, maybe some people has different character. Sometimes, when it involves healthy diet, smoking, cursing, or any immoral behaviors, logic works fine for me, so I've never done the bad things, well, the really bad things.

But, there is one thing, one single thing that I have been fighting for years. No one is affected by this problem, Im the only one struggling. This is one problem that logic can't help me at all. Until today, I have been finding ways.

Ya Allah, ampunilah hambaMu dan jadikanlahku rijal di jalanMu.

alliqa' salam alaikum>>>I have read my goals for today

Saat menjejak kaki ke Ireland

2011-09-17T07:26:00.000-07:00

Nasihat pertama, jangan beli banyak sangat barang2 yg senior kata murah. Beli untuk target 2 3 bulan je. Sebabnya, lepas 2 3 minggu anda sendiri akan dapat cari sendiri barang2 ni. Pastu ada kemungkinan besar anda ingin dapatkan barang yg berkualiti setelah 2 3 bulan di sini, walaupon sedikit mahal, terutamanya jika anda akan belajar di Ireland selama 5 tahun.

Keduanya, sebagai pelajar terutamanya pelajar yg pernah mengharumkan nama sekolah satu ketika dahulu dan pelajar yang telah bersusah payah untuk pass A level mahupun IB, kita mengharapkan anda seorang yang mempunyai pendirian. Bagus untuk menerima pertolongan senior, tapi jangan sampai jadi duduk bawah ketiak senior. Senior minta tolong, tolonglah, tapi kalau bab2 prinsip hidup, fikir dulu, tanya orang2 lain dulu. Jangan disebabkan termakan budi senior kita mengikut sahaja semua. Ingat, anda mungkin baru 1st year atau 2nd year, tapi umur sudah 20. Tapi kena beringat jangan pula menimbulkan masalah yang tak diingini, bertindaklah dengan sewajarnya.

Ilalliqa' salam alaikum>>>I have read my goals for today

Post untuk lelaki kurus high metabolism

2011-09-12T01:25:00.000-07:00

Hah. Tajuk.

Ok, honestly, I've been researching about fitness since a year ago. Really. My focus was on developing skills on parkour, or any kind of martial arts skills. That's just my interest. So, well, I have been doing some things. I went to gym, thinking it might help me improving my kicks. You know, faster and harder. Well, it went ok, but not that ok. First time going to the gym? That was one of the time of my life when I told myself to be bold. Yes, boldness is needed for a guy like me, I mean, 165cm and 55Kg to go to the gym. A guy with no muscles at all, and well, in the gym, there are lot of girls/women in there, it can destroy your pride if you're not mentally ready to be stared. (exaggeration obviously) And you have to watch your eyes from staring them too!

Ok lah. Kita dah bercerita pasal motif untuk meningkatkan skill. Nak dijadikan cerita satu hari ketika dalam salah satu usaha saya untuk belajar skill bergerak dengan badan terbalik, maksudnya, tangann di lantai dan kaki di atas. praktis ni penting untuk menjadi asas kepada beberapa pergerakan. Dan yang memelikkan ialah, saya tak mampu angkat badan sendiri. Jadinya, disebabkan kekecewan tak terhingga, kerana masalah tersebut bermakna, pembelajaran akan tersekat di tengah jalan.

That's when I realise, I dont have enough strength! Whoooooaaaaa yes. I am well aware of that, but it never came to me that I really need it. So, I started my exercise plan during the ramadhan, well, slightly before that. I did all the push ups, pull up, biceps curl and all those stuff you see in the TV. I downloaded the program, quite famous called, P90X.

Problem is. P90X need you to give full commitment everyday! Yea, Im not really that keen to do this everyday. We need to use one hour each day for the practise, honestly, it's bloody tiring. But, it worked. True. But you know what works more than that? I'm telling you, weight-lifting.

I've met this website, stronglifts.com since about 2 years ago. I just read it. Never intend to actually follow it. And just recently I read the whole things again, and that's when it caught my eyes. This plan doesn't need whey protein, you know, that bloody protein people use to keep them bulky. I mean, I just need to get stronger, no need to be so bulky. Turns out lot of people have been talking about this method! And I read about a guy, giving testimony, he was doing stronglifts to get better in parkour. That's it! That's what I need to hear!

So, now Im on my 4th weeks. InsyaAllah I will keep with this once I step on Irish land. BTW, Im off to Dublin this Friday. So, if there's anyone out there miss me so much, yes, the door is widely open for you to come and bid goodbye. It's gonna be another year you know. Now's the chance.

So back to our story. For you guys out there, especially those with high metabolisme and so skinny, this things will boost you up. Naturally, no need weird stuff to eat. All normal things, you just need the gut to start going to the gym. And beware the STARES!

Whatever your motives are, getting stronger, muscular, to get confidence or whatever it is, give it a try. My aim is to get 65 Kg before the end of this year. Hoho yup.

Oh this things make me feel livelier. Not sure thats the correct word or not. Importantly, I like the way this method was taught. Sincere to help people like us, who had no genetic tendency of a good body structure. Once you do it, you will change. Feel like kicking something right now. wohoo.

Ok, I have just read this book. Talent is Overrated. Also recommended by stronglifts.com. It is an awsome book. Seriously. No one in this world got the talent without hardwork. There's no wonder in life of tiger woods or Mozart. They have been strictly shaped by deliberate practise. That's it.

For that reason I will change a bit the structure of my goals. I always wonder what does it mean when people say we should be specific about our goals. Now I know. Ok, luck everyone.

Oh regarding this post, I honestly mean it to guys only. Girls. Honestly? COme on! I dont recommend girls to be so muscular. You should be.......girls, you know. If you wanna stay fit, find another kind of exercise please. Please for the sake of your husband.

ps/ apa akan jadi kalau sahabat2 yang ajak pegi wedding mereka meletakkan hadis nabi ini dalam wedding invitation diorang dalam facebook.

“Apabila diajak seseorang daripada antum ke kenduri kahwin, maka hendaklah dia menjghadirinya, dan barangsiapa yang meninggalkan undangan, maka dia telah melakukan maksiat kepada Allah dan Rasul-Nya.” [Hadis Riwayat Imam al-Bukhari dari Ibn Umar, no. 5177]

Tak ke keruan kita semua nak pegi majlis kahwin semua orang. Dari utara ke selatan. Heheh.

Ilalliqa' salam alaikum>>>I have read my goals for today

Pelajar cemerlang kecundang

2011-09-05T21:23:00.000-07:00

I will absolutely recommend you out there to read this book, "Behind That Shiny Resume". A story of a malaysian chinese girl, who were struggling to keep herself on track after being swarmed with 'those' questions. I'm saying those questions because it was questions that I myself had been burdened with before.

I think starting from like, 2 years ago, I did post a lot about my self-conflicts. My unanswerable questions. About why should I study hard, why should I chose this pathway, why should I get good results. For what?

So, about this book. Well, this girl is like the SPM best student at that time. She achieved the highest recognition during secondary school. Get a lot of awards, national and international, and managed to excel in SPM with 10A1 and 2A2. And then she got the ASEAN scholarship to study in singapore. I know, ASEAN scholarship!!! I saw the application in the newspaper when I was searching for scholarship few years back, but heck, I didn't even have the gut to fill that form. I think, MARA was good enough. And I think that's the right decision.

So to make long story short. She faced problems during college years, while doing A level. I can feel her giving up, when she said, she did not even bother to read the exam's schedule. She was informed about the exam, by her friend, and that's A DAY before! And she did kinda have problems just like me. I did my A level, and I did take economics for my AS. And Im pretty sure I was not keen enough to learn it. It was a struggle. I dont know what else to do, even maths which used to be my favourite, which I used to think of it like playing games, were no longer my interest. Back to her story, she totally gave up with her A level economics paper, she wrote nothing and boldly asked the examiner to put a zero on that paper.

Im not sure whether our experience were quite the same or not. But basically, it was a struggle, to understand what were we doing. I did pass through my A level, but not in the most satisfying condition. Thanks to Allah for giving me the chance. But I did face few other hurdles after continuing my study in Ireland. Well, it was all in my previous posts. And that was just another struggle, the climax, you have no idea how does it feel to read the notes and at the same time your hands're trembling, can hardly go to sleep, but alhamdulillah I'm ok now. Well, I think I am. She said she was diagnosed with depression. I think I got anxiety which I think pretty same.

Ok.Honestly, I really love the books. It dealt with questions, which some of us never even tried to answer. For me, I cannot do something if I don't have good reasons doing it, I just can't. So, I look for the answers first, before I really should indulge in this. And alhamdulillah, it took 3 years, but now it's fine.

In her side of story, after coming back to malaysia, she did things to change herself, to change her belief system and found God's help and certain things happened. And now she's back on track, well, like all of us, we are all correcting ourselves, hoping we are on the right track. InsyaAllah.

Let's cheer up a bit eh

Ilalliqa' salam alaikum>>>I have read my goals for today

Learn something new you freakin brain

2011-08-19T20:26:00.000-07:00

Alhamdulillah, during this time of the year, I mean summer hols, I think I have been able to learn lotta stuff.

Knowledge.

Skills.

Motivation.

I just hope that what I've learnt will actually shape me the kinda guy that I wanna be.

Oh, I have been focusing more on my goals. Like I stated before. 4 goals. Sometimes, it's hard to just focus on these, because in life, we have lotta other responsibilities on our shoulder. When we have goals, doesn't mean the other things should be neglected, or done halfway, just a lukewarm effort. We still have to do them, focus, and give our best effort.

That's when problems arise. Im not a good multitasker, and Im not really good in handling my time. Yeah, true. Really hope when the right time comes, I have already been the other guy I intended to be. And yes, the right time should be before I get married obviously.

I guess I have to work more on my Fiqh Muwazanat.

I have always got this mindset when it comes to learning new skills. Persevere. As we say, repetition is the mother of skills. And it works. If I wanna do something new, with my body, if I want to jump higher, or anything, I just need to repeat and repeat. Recently, I tried to swim, well actually it was just last night, I said to myself. "Ok, I have failed once, I need to fail at least ten more times to master at least a tiny bit of swimming skills."

It's quite unfortunate that this was not my self-belief when it comes to study. I hate repeating when I finished reading something new. When I failed to memorise, I think that's it, my brain can't handle it. I didn't realize the heart of the problem was not that, I have been told lotta times, to just read them few times, heck I even did this during my school year. The problem was, I didn't have the intention to know them in the first place.

I kept lamenting on this. On why was I acting so, dumb. I just need to repeat? Why on earth should I repeat all these, when I don't think it's that important, I don't even know whether I have interest in this or not. Then i realize, my self-interest can be built. Just like how, my self-interest in fighting skills was built. It was all starting from zero, a boy, who never had interest in sports, suddenly decided to join martial arts. A boy who never had a single fight in his life. A boy who always play safe. And then I learnt something new.

What else? I wanna master other languages. Which should be included in the next goal, arabic and chinese sounds good.

Ilalliqa' salam alaikum>>>I have read my goals for today

Doktor dan Guru

2011-08-16T20:16:00.000-07:00

Saya quote daripada buku karya Syaikh Abbas Hasan As-Siisi bertajuk "Bagaimana Menyentuh Hati"

Pengajar dan doktor adalah da'i yang paling berjaya, jika mereka bersedia

melakukan pekerjaan itu dengan didasari keimanan kepada Allah dan untuk

menegakkan agama-Nya. Didasari oleh alasan inilah, para misionaris dalam

memerangi dunia Islam memusatkan perhatian mereka pada universiti-universiti

dan rumah sakit-rumah sakit, serta menyalurkan berbagai bentuk bantuan.

Tugas pengajar adalah menghayati hati dan pola pemikiran siswa, lalu

membimbing mereka sedikit demi sedikit, sehingga tujuan yang hendak dicapai dapat

terlaksana, sedangkan tugas doktor adalah menghapus penderitaan pesakit dengan

kata-kata yang dipenuhi keimanan dan memberikan ubat yang sesuai.

Dan juga berdasarkan kata2 Dr Farhan Hadi penulis novel "Denyut Kasih Medik" (peh) mengenai pesakit yang mudah menerima nasihat doktor dalam keadaan mereka yang sangat vulnerable, yang sangat memerlukan perhatian. Segagah dan sejantan mana anda, jika sudah kena terlantar di katil hospital, hati mana tidak tersentuh jika ada yang sudi bertanya khabar, bermanis muka menunjukkan perhatian, terutama doktor2 yang diketahui sibuknya sudi meluangkan sedikit masa.

Disebabkan itu, sebagai pelajar medik yang bakal menjadi seorang doktor (insyaAllah), sesusah mana pun kita perlu berkorban, perlulah kita buat yang terbaik, mempelajari dengan penuh tekun, kalau tiada minat pon, buatlah kerana lillah taala. Kita bukan manusia perfect, namun kita sentiasa mendambakan kehidupan yang bertambah baik setiap hari. Kadang-kadang di bawah, kadang-kadang kembali di atas.

Suka saya bercerita. Sudah 3 tahun lamanya persoalan kenapa aku menjadi doktor bermain di kepala padahal, boleh sahaja aku terima kerjaya2 lain yang mungkin tidak menyesakkan nafas seperti doktor. Dan juga dengan minat yang ada, boleh sahaja menjana kewangan yang kukuh. Nah, di atas itu antara sebabnya. Sudah tiada alasan untuk bertangguh lagi, dan memikirkan adakah ini kerjaya yang sebetulnya.

Teringat pula kisah Dr Mahathir (dok refer dia selalu kan tak pasal2, hehe). Beliau bertekad untuk mencapai tahap akademik yang tinggi bagi mendapatkan kepercayaan masyarakat melayu dan kemudiannya ingin merubah nasib mereka. Disebabkan itu beliau telah apply biasiswa kursus law. Tanpa diduga beliau telah sebaliknya diberi bidang kedoktoran. Dan beliau mengakhiri zaman sebagai pelajar medik dengan agak cemerlang. Namun, yang jelas, beliau ingin dapatkan tahap pendidikan yang tinggi, bagi merealisasikan impian yang lebih tinggi. Kerjaya tersebut tidak menjadi hal, yang penting matlamat utama dapat dicapai. Pada masa sama, beliau menjadi doktor yang disukai pada zaman tersebut. (well, ni based on cerita dia lah, even though he's like, sooo malay, but still la kan)

Apa sahaja yang kita lakukan. Kita melihat pada hari pengakhiran. Kematian. Dan selepas kematian. Matlamat yang tertinggi adalah fokus usaha, namun matlamat kecil di dunia perlu selari dan konsisten juga.

Jadi, jom jadi doktor berkarisma dan berjaya dunia akhirat. Aim for the highest for the sake of our muslim world.

Ilalliqa' salam alaikum>>>I have read my goals for today

Insan Bernama Kekasih (peh, perh, pergh!)

2011-08-15T00:54:00.000-07:00

Selalunya saya merasakan bila nak bercerita pasal hal agama, rasa risau akan muncul. Risau kita x hafal lagi dalil2, risau ilmu yang cetek ini mungkin membuatkan orang tersalah faham. Risau juga dalil tersebut adalah dalil yang tak disepakati, turuk2 nya x sahih. Ah, banyak jelah alasan yang timbul, walaupun sebenarnya Islam itu mudah, namun bukan untuk kita permudah-mudahkan.

Hari ni, sewaktu usha buku kat dalam rumah, terjumpa buku oleh Ustaz Ismail Kamus, Indahnya Hidup Bersyariat. Terlupa pula buku ni dah dibeli pada tahun lepas.

Jadi, saya pun,

Ambik buku dan bukak terus ke tajuk munakahat, dah lama tak revise nih, hehe.

Dan saya pun,

Bukak laptop, pergi ke folder music, masuk folder UNIC, dan double click file bertajuk Insan Bernama Kekasih. Saya memang jarang dengar nasyid.

Saya baca bab munakahat sambil dengar lagu tersebut, hati berbunga-bunga. Ok, lol.

Hari ni saya decide untuk berkongsilah apa yang ada dalam buku ni, simple2 sahaja, sambil ulas secara ringkas apa yang patut dan apa yang tak berapa patut, hehe. Bolehlah berkongsi kalau copy paste buku kan. Ah, orang kurang ilmu, hanya ini yang termampu.

Mula.

Firman Allah SWT dalam surah Ar-:21Rum, "Dan antara tanda2 kebesaran Allah ialah Dia menciptakan untukmu isteri-isteri daripada jenismu sendiri, agar kamu cenderung dan berasa tenang dan tenteram kepadanya dan dijadikan-Nya antara kamu perasaan kasih dan sayang."

Hukum Berkahwin lelaki (dah tau kan....)

1. Wajib

2. Sunat- Hukum asal perkahwinan

3. Harus

4. Makruh

5. Haram

Dasar Pemilihan Isteri

1. Taat beragama

Sabda nabi SAW "Dinikahi perempuan itu kerana hartanya dan kerana keturunannya dan kerana kecantikannya dan kerana agamanya, maka pilihlah yang beragama nescaya kamu akan beroleh keuntungan."

2. Keturunan baik dan dibesarkan dalam persekitaran yg sempurna akhlaknya

3. Subur dan berpotensi melahirkan ramai anak

4. Sekufu atau hampir sekufu

5. Masih anak dara

6. Bukan dari keluarga terdekat

Rukun Nikah

1. Lelaki

2. Perempuan

3. Wali

4. 2 saksi

5. Ijab dan kabul

Daripada rukun nikah inilah kita dapat rumuskan bahawa nikah gantung itu tiada apa2. Sah. Mungkin terdapat silap faham orang melayu dalam nikah gantung, selepas ijab kabul, tak boleh tinggal bersama, kena tinggal berasingan padahal itu hanyalah pilihan jika terpaksa tinggal berasingan buat sementara. Melayu, biasalah.

Haa, meh kita ulas sikit bab tanggungjawab. Yang ni yang kita kena fikirkan bila dah kahwin, jadi lebih baik orang kata ada begins with the end in mind.

Tanggungjawab Suami (baca penuh fokus!!!)

1. Memberi sara hidup kepada isteri seperti pemberian makanan dan tempat tinggal

2. Memberi nafkah batin termasuk menggauli isteri dengan baik.

3. Menyara anak-anak.

4. Melindungi isteri dan anak-anak dari segi keselamatan dan kesihatan.

5. Melindungi maruah keluarga dna harta benda.

6. Sentiasa membimbing isteri dengan ajaran Islam menuju keredaan Allah.

7. Bertanggungjawab mendidik akhlak anak-anak dan memastikan mereka mendapat pendidikan Islam yang sempurna

8. Menjadi penasihat dalam masalah isteri,anak-anak, dan jiran tetangga.

Tanggungjawab Isteri

1. Jaga kehormatan terutama ketika suami tiada di rumah

2. Patuh arahan suami selagi bukan maksiat. Dan suka melayan suami lahir dan batin.

3. Menumpukan sepenuh kasih sayang kepada suami dan anak-anak.

4. Jaga kebersihan rumah tangga dan kesihatan diri serta anak-anak

5. Jaga amanah dan harta suami.

6. Simpan rahsia pergaulan suami isteri.

7. Tidak tinggalkan rumah tanpa izin suami.

8. Berhias diri hanya untuk tatapan suami sahaja dan tidak pula untuk orang lain khususnya ketika di rumah. Ketika di khalayak ramai, isteri harus pandai jaga kesopanan dan menutup aurat.

Ok, kita tengok point no.8. Kalau baca-baca kan kisah rumahtangga nih, ramai la isteri cakap, alah nak berhias apa kat rumah, suami pon takde nak kisahnya, pakai baju pagoda sambil pakai kain sarung tu je lah, nak tengok pon tak hingin. Lol.

Tapi kan, asal dalam tanggungjawab suami tak tekankan pon bab suami berhias diri? Ye, perlu tapi takdelah sepenting isteri. Sebab wanita bila berhias akan menaikkan darjat 'kecomelannya' sekiranya dalam kadar yang tidak keterlaluan. Namun, sekiranya langsung tak dijaga bab berhias, bab kemaskan diri, memang penampilannya akan menjadi horror, tak menarik, tak ada keinginan pon nak pergi dekat, even nak berbicara hal-hal romantik. Keh2.

Lelaki? Kami bukan makhluk yang selalu dikaitkan dengan perhiasan. Hanya perlu jaga badan supaya tak berbau yang tak diingini, rambut pon, takdelah sepanjang rambut wanita, senang diurus. Jaga badan sikit, ok. Even pakaian pon, ok lah, baju pagoda maybe agak xbleh blah, tapi pakaian apa sangat untuk berhias. Kan? Kan? Kan???

Ok setakat itu sahaja ulasan x berapa berilmiah untuk kali ni. Kena habiskan buku karangan Dr Mahathir pulak. Baca buku Che Det ni telah sedikit menambahkan rasa terima kasih kepada beliau, namun bertambah-tambah pula perasaan nak bangkang. Hohoi.

Tahu tak Sultan Muhammad Al-fateh menguasai 7 bahasa dan 3 daripadanya adalah bahasa musuh? Wooh.

ps/don't worry I always look good at home. ngehehe.

Ilalliqa' salam alaikum>>>I have read my goals for today

Mencangkung Asian Style!

2011-08-13T00:33:00.000-07:00

This is serious stuff!

Ok, kadang2 memang lol la jugak, tapi since it's true, jom praktik dengan bangganya. Keh2

Ilalliqa' salam alaikum>>>I have read my goals for today

Taman yang pelik

2011-08-09T13:17:00.000-07:00

I slept 2 and a half hour ago, and now I’m awake, at 3.30am, with freshly eyes, my mind doesn’t want to switch back to sleep mode.

I’ve just had a dream.

I was walking on a long road, somewhere, which I suspect in Ireland. It’s spring, Im guessing, from the surrounding, its moderate cold, the vividly colorful flowers and green background, I can even see a river flowing, just beside the road. It’s like in a park. The road was really long, I knew it, because we were talking about how tiring to have to walk over 30KM already, and we haven’t yet reached our destiny.

I was in a group.

I think it was a trip, Im guessing there were 20-30 of us. Not sure if it was my classmates or my Malaysian colleagues in Dublin. There were non familiar faces, I just know there were people with me on that long road. Well, it’s not really like a road, more like a small path, like the one that we have in the park, I’m imagining this park to be really big then.

Yes, 30km walking, already.

I did bring my bike with me, but I didn’t get on it. I was walking with someone, someone whom I do not know; I cannot recognize the face, maybe because this dream is more about the place, not the people. The only conversation I remember I had with this person was, “I don’t get what are these people moaning about, I mean, they chose to come here right”. I was referring to the others. And I remember quite clearly the person answered, “I know, look at this place, there’s nothing to complain about, look how beautiful all these! We should just walk and savor the moment”.

This friend of mine even told me not to cycle, because it can be more tiring. I really don’t get the logic behind this.

After that we reached a place with a signboard, which was supposed to be the name of this place. I took my phone out of pocket, activating my camera mode so that I can take the video of the place. Just before I can catch the video, everything went blur.

Just like that, the dream ended.

I still can’t figure out the name of that place.

Everything in this dream, seems like coming from my past experience, from my trip with friends, from all of the places that we used to go to. It’s like perfectly blended together, becoming this weird but beautiful dream.

And now, I miss Dublin.

Ilalliqa' salam alaikum>>>I have read my goals for today

Malaysia au Ireland.

2011-07-30T06:03:00.001-07:00

Sooo, talking about new aim.

Well, errrr, deeee, I think I wanna work in Dublin.

Have read few blogs and also met several doctors talking about how many doctors will be produced in few years time. There might be doctors who will not get a job soon. I mean, in Malaysia.

I know, that's just sounds too exaggerated.

Well, I dont really know. But, think about it, working there is like a challenge. I do know malaysian doctors whos already working in Dublin for several years, most of them already got their specialty. Life there is quite, calm, I must say.

Does it mean Im being ungrateful and don't want to contribute to rakyat? Well, of course not, but I think by staying there for few years more, I will actually learn what I am supposed to learn. I don't think 5 years will shape me as an overseas graduate doctor who's worth the 1.4 million ringgit spent on me.

I also know, I have more problems to do this compared to my other colleagues. I am kinda stuck with my sponsor. Yes, I don't have bond with MARA, no need to work for 10 years with the government. Problem is, I did create a problem, last year. A story untold.

Well, that's gonna depend on me, whether I'm persevered enough to get where i wanna be.

As we say, life is kicking and punching!

Ilalliqa' salam alaikum>>>I have read my goals for today

2011-07-28T16:45:00.000-07:00

ahhhhh! the best time spent, is when it all spent on something for others. rather than going out with friends and hang out at pulau perhentian, or genting highland, or few other leisure stuff. doing things which benefit others can give us satisfaction, feeling good, and motivation.

generally, 3 big programs I joined before this are, terengganu relief mission, muslim overseas camp, and kolej mara banting unifair. i must say, after finishing all these, i got a message from deep within myself. it says, "dude, you're on your way!"

thankfully, my sorrow for several weeks before have been kinda cured (if you noticed,several posts bedore this were a bit emotinally disfigured, remembering things that i myself not sure worth to be remembered or not).

so here i am, with a new booster, with a new hope ;) (syafiq, i hope you are not gonna say anything suspicious about this).

ok let's stop with all the gay stuff. not the eww gay, amother meaning of gay. so, talking about something more, serious, these past
events have been injecting new self belief in me. more confidence in me, to be the kinda doctor that i wanna be. i once knew a doctor who posed an interesting personality, for him it's like, life is an appreciation.

i am a person who will not do whatever it take if i am not clear of what kind of person i wanna be. identity crisis is a bloody harsh thing. pheww!

ok, a bit of preview. during my involvement with trg relief mission, we met several doctors, one of them was subspecialist in spine. we had a meeting session, talking about career path of a doctor. believe me, that's just so, inspiring. i have never asked my auntie about this kinda thing, well, we never really had the chance to indulged in such a talk. and, in MOC, emmmm, i'll talk about it later lah :). for the unifair, representing tcd was quite an interesting experience. lotta people wanna know about PBL. hehe. but, what the most interesting part was when a chinese girl asked me, "so why are you doing this, are they paying you or what?" that was, ....well, quite, out of my expectation. so i just said, we doctors love to do commmunity service for our juniors. yeah right.

well, my phone battery is gonna out of power, so that's it.

let's pray for whatever we want in life eh ;)

Ilalliqa' salam alaikum>>>I have read my goals for today

Kay Em Bee Unifair

2011-07-25T09:11:00.000-07:00

Baru sahaja habiskan Muslim Overseas Camp MOC 2011 yang diadakan di Serdang, khas untuk pelajar Kyuem....

What I gotta say is, lotta things happened,

Made me smiling, and inspired.

Learnt new stuff, met new friends,

But now Im at KMB or Kolej Mara Banting, for Banting Extended Experience, BEE. We have unifair here, so I will represent Trinitians, for 2 days I think, share some stuff, have some fun, and smile some more :)

Ilalliqa' salam alaikum>>>I have read my goals for today

Memory

2011-07-21T18:24:00.000-07:00

Have been reading about memory...

Bump into something called flashbulb memory. Memory so intense that it is hard to forget. A memory which we create with our vivid emotion. An excellent way to memorise something. Attach it to emotion. With that, you can even imagine every single pictures of the event, replaying back every single moment.

A memory can never be gone. It's there, and always be there.

Ilalliqa' salam alaikum>>>I have read my goals for today

The picture i was talking about

2011-07-19T22:44:00.000-07:00

Check it here

http://jbt2011.blogspot.com/2011/07/di-sebalik-tasik-yang-bening.html

Im not the writer.

Honestly, it's a picture with this....significant gesture, meaning.

Looking and keep looking. hah. and waiting. hoping it's still there.

I believe, in life, if you believed something deep enough, it will somehow become a reality.

Happened to me lotta times. It's like, we're just keep praying in silence. In our thoughts. And when the right time comes, we grab the chance, sometimes intentionally, and sometimes unintentionally.

Ilalliqa' salam alaikum>>>I have read my goals for today

A med student

2011-07-19T06:48:00.000-07:00

I wanna love medicine just like how I love seeing people fight.

I wanna love medicine just like how I get engrossed with martial arts.

Ilalliqa' salam alaikum>>>I have read my goals for today

Last minute update

2011-07-15T00:40:00.001-07:00

Profile pict facebook sekarang rasanya sesuai sangat dengan mood sekarang. Tibe ..

Oh ya, esok ada program Kelantan Overseas Gathering. Dijemput anak kelantan yg baru habis persediaan ke oversea utk datang. Tahun ni buat di JKR10. Moh la kite :)

Oh2, baru jumpa cara nak hafal notes .. gahaha.. tunggulah bukak sekolah nanti

Ilalliqa' salam alaikum>>>I have read my goals for today

Kolej Triniti di bandar Dublin

2011-07-13T06:58:00.000-07:00

Wah, semangat gile nak jadi doktor lepas berjumpa dengan figure mantap montoya :)

Baca pasal kolej triniti di sini

Dan sini

Tak sabar nak pulang dan hadapi kehidupan hospital.

Ilalliqa' salam alaikum>>>I have read my goals for today

Kisah cinta di Harvard

2011-07-04T22:37:00.001-07:00

Tengah habiskan love story in harvard.

Ok, beautiful!

Ok, memang la korean heroin comel n everything. Tapi ni sumthin else. The heroin, yang berlakon sebagai pelajar medik. Entah macam mana membuatkan saya berfikir berpuluh2 kali. About me as a medical student.

Oh, series ni agak menerujakan.

Ilalliqa' salam alaikum>>>I have read my goals for today

Melawat sekolah

2011-07-02T20:28:00.000-07:00

Just back from school, giving my juniors some motivation, to keep on going, even if they faced the hardest things ever, just, keep going...

Ironic. When I myself is struggling, to keep me motivated all the time. But, somehow, it's nice to see your juniors and have some chat with them. Make them laugh, make them curious and asking stuff, at least to hear to what I got to say. Not that it's so important, it's just, a nice thing to do, that's all.

So, I did tell them, to enjoy their time there, to struggle and at the same time, to savor every single moment in school. It's gonna be a memory, a memory you don't wanna lose. The sweetest memory that I have, I would say it's school, not college, or primary school. A memory that had always been in my head, for years, even when i tried to erase some of it, it still stick.

In another story, so...well, thing is, I have been stopping myself from exercising at least for 2 months already. Long story short, I got sick, and I had exam, so I decided to just focus, well, it's basicaslly because I was sick, and my motivation kinda startled after that day. Urgh. Worst day in ireland.

So now Im back to exercising, had my own little gym at home, with a new device and new spirit! And new program of healthy exercising. I downloaded it back when I was still in dublin. Good stuff, and it kinda help me in motivating myself to keep on going. You see, motivation can be earned well, when we are in a group. Problem is, Im alone at home, not really that motivating, so having this kinda program give me kinda 'in group' feeling. Im not sure how to describe this. Hmh, yeah, kinda like that. When you watch the show, you'll know.

It's kinda hardcore program. I got muscle sore almost the whole body I think, real mess. But one thing that I like about getting sore, it makes us more conscious. It's like, you know you're in control of what you're doing. I really dont know how to describe this better.

Well, that's it. Oh, it's my birthday. :)))

Life is kicking and punching, people!

Oh how I hope to see *** somewhere, somehow...

Ilalliqa' salam alaikum>>>I have read my goals for today

What I did last summer

2011-06-27T10:55:00.003-07:00

Baru usha fesbuk, urgh. Its funny how people's posts in it can shift your emotion in a glimpse. Telling myself this, screw those people, ignore it, and you're gonna be fine. Im not a girl to get mood swing for an insignificant stuff.

Lol. Well it works quite well.

Its 2 o'clock in the morning, and my mind wander everywhere. Thinking of what should I post in here.

I remember someone used to ask me, how am I gonna deal with this things in my life. So I said, time will heal everything.

Well, this time, it didn't.

FYI, it didn't.

Ilalliqa' salam alaikum>>>I have read my goals for today

Kembara ke Howth! Best! Vlog.

2011-06-14T11:46:00.000-07:00

Ilalliqa' salam alaikum>>>I have read my goals for today

Last summer

2011-06-07T12:11:00.000-07:00

Last summer, thinking of it, Im not sure it was a good idea to do what I did. I know it's the right thing, but not sure whether it's the right way or not. Sigh~

dedicate to future wife...lol

Ilalliqa' salam alaikum>>>I have read my goals for today

2 Benda Menyedihkan

2011-06-07T09:39:00.000-07:00

2 perkara menyedihkan untuk hari ini.

1. Masih bujang

2. Tak reti masak sedap2

:(((

Ilalliqa' salam alaikum>>>I have read my goals for today

Summer update

2011-06-03T10:50:00.001-07:00

Exam dah habis, result pon dah keluar, alhamdulillah atas pemberianNya itu. Terasa diri ini sangat tidak bersyukur kerna, pernah terasa bahawa, result yg kuperoleh adalah atas sebanyak mana usaha yang dibuat. Ianya benar, namun lagi benar, the ultimate truth, Dia sahaja yang pada pengakhirannya yang menentukan bagaimanakah result tersebut. Comel atau tidak.

Sebelum summer ni, xde rasa nak melancong sangat, hanya berjalan2 sekitar Ireland. Kenal2 orang Malaysia di sini.

Baru sahaja join gerombolan MOC, insyaAllah balik Malaysia nanti akan join MOC 2011. Program PreDept utk pelajar yang akan fly dari Kyuem.

Teringat pula akan gol2 yang telah ditulis lama dahulu. Moga masih kekal, dan semoga tahun depan dapat join kelab taekwondo. Sudah lama tak dapat rasa adrenaline rush. Rasa 'high' bila berdepan situasi2 bahaya.

Moga gol 1st class juga dibawa ke sem hadapan. Untuk setakat berkata 1st class senang, untuk berusaha kearah itu kadang2 memerlukan motivasi yang tinggi dan berterusan.

Ilalliqa' salam alaikum>>>I have read my goals for today

Istana Blarney

2011-05-27T18:13:00.000-07:00

3 Hari lepas berkesempatan melawat Cork, Ireland. Sempat pergi ke Blarney Castle. Pemandangan memang nice habis. Pegi sekali dengan 2 orang lagi sahabat.

Di castle ni terdapat sejenis batu yg dinamakan Blarney Stone, dikatakan jika manusia menciumnya, maka kita akan memperoleh kebolehan berkata2 dengan petah.

Not really in the mood to blog right now.

Ilalliqa' salam alaikum>>>I have read my goals for today

Cikgu, semoga kau tidak jenuh mendidik

2011-05-19T11:30:00.000-07:00

Pertama sekali, terima kasih banyak2 guru2 ku.

Guru kehidupanku, mak dan ayah.

Guru mengajiku,

Guru sekolahku,

Kamu telah mengajarku mengenai banyak perkara...

Untuk itu aku bersyukur dan berterima kasih.

Ilalliqa' salam alaikum>>>I have read my goals for today

Vlog budak2 medik Ireland

2011-05-14T11:59:00.000-07:00

Post exam....with a new and improved super powerful internet!!!

homai...

I have not touched a book...yet!!!

Internet is just so...tempting.....and cannot......resist....at all..........

Someone save me!!!

I need to read books. I need to improve my english. I need to do better next sem. I need to improve. More and more. I don't want to be bloody sluggish anymore. I wanna be more responsible...Oh that remind me, I have to learn that bloody memorization technique. Wohoo, thanks again blog for reminding me.

SO I CAN GET MARRIED EARLY!

Fiuh. Glad I eventually say that. Yea, I have like 4 invitations during this summer. Last year, I didn't really think attending someone's wedding is that intriguing. But this year, you know, when your age is like going nearer and nearer to a level where we really should shift our paradigm a lil bit more, attending someone's marriage is really an exciting thing to do.

Oh ya, lately, few of my friends start doing like video on youtube..kinda like vlog. Let's see how

He is known with his artistic interest..I still don't really get a grasp on poem or anything like it...unless it is martial arts, a true beauty I must say.

Next video.

Ok, this is really creative. This dude is one of the committee in the PPIMI. A student society in ireland. Salute!

Think that's it. Got to continue my journey with....human brain~~~

Ilalliqa' salam alaikum>>>I have read my goals for today

Post exam kiasuness syndrome

2011-05-09T13:55:00.000-07:00

I don't know what it's really called. But yes, i usually got this after exam. Maybe because during exam period our brain was conditioned everyday to study and study, make us feel good doing it, and so even after exam, we kinda want to study everything for the next sem, thinking that when we get to the next sem, we might have a little rest. Yes, such a promising thing.

But, there are whole lot of other things that I wanna do too. Like conditioning my long resting body for parkour skills.

Also other non-medical books that I want to finish before going back to Malaysia. SO this whole spirit, is like smothering me....last thing that I want to happen, is to do nothing of these. Obviously. But insyaAllah not.

I will be here for a month before going back to malaysia. I have not planned any trip. My plan was to study and read all these books. And then, go back to Malaysia with a new spirit! Sounds like a plan really. And summer is about to start...I have always wanted to go to the park, and guling2 kat atas padang. Haha. Must feel so nice.

Ilalliqa' salam alaikum>>>I have read my goals for today

Gift for myself

2011-05-07T07:38:00.000-07:00

Setelah exam yang sedikit menyedihkan... tak boleh salahkan siapa sebenarnya. Allah kasi masa untuk baca semua tu, kita main2 jugak. Kalau tak, satu buku pon dah boleh hafal. lepas exam ni la semangat study mencanak-canak naik.

ps/wish hari ibu kepada umi..uhuhu, maafkanlah anakmu jika sebarang perkara menyebabkanmu terasa hati.

Ilalliqa' salam alaikum>>>I have read my goals for today

It's not actually in lecture notes!

2011-05-06T14:16:00.000-07:00

Why do we need lectures.

First, we will realize this when we sit for exams.

SOmetimes, lecturers, they are just...unexpectable.

Sometimes, of all the notes and obvious past year papers that we have, they can come up with something totally different, something that people might even ignore.

These questions were not in the notes, I mean not literally written, not in textbook which we usually use for reference.

And, all of a sudden, they appear in the exams. I mean, why? Of all the big things from your lectures, you go with the one last slide from the last lecture? You don't even mention it in the notes....and you expect us to find it somewhere else? How do we suppose to know...?

Its in lectures. I guess that's the answer. Well, I did attend his lectures. But your accent sir, it just, mind boggling. Meaning, I can hardly focus with your weird accent. Not a normal Irish accent, probably you aren't Irish.

But yeah, that's why we need lectures, to get to know some exam tips, spotter.

Ilalliqa' salam alaikum>>>I have read my goals for today

Stigma terhadap budak medik hapal

2011-05-04T11:20:00.000-07:00

Sebelum ni, saya mempunyai pandangan, kenapa, budak medik macam hapal semberono je lecture notes, lepas exam, kemungkinan besar semuanya akan hilang, setelah cuti panjang. Tak boleh ke kita buat macam jaman-jaman SPM, paham dulu, lepas tu hafal. InsyaAllah kekal dalam ingatan.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnd, that has ended quite badly.

Jujurnya, kita sememangnya tidak ada masa langsung untuk tunggu sampai paham. It's not about the weird and difficult concepts that we need to understand, just the amount is too overwhelming, and it will eat your time up. If you think, you need to understand first before memorize the whole things, then we will end up struggling just before the exam.

Kesimpulannya, hapal and understanding goes together. We might not understand it first, but we surely cannot wait until certain time, to memorize the whole things. We just don't have that much time.

Ada sesetengah orang, otak mereka memang ada cara yang tertentu untuk hapal, kena baca macam tu, kena buat notes macam ni, kena study waktu ni. Honestly, I have no idea what works for me, Im still trying to find the easiest way to memorize. Long term and short term. I did make a study on memorization last year. It's interesting. But, sometimes, I dont have the privilege of time to do the things they asked. Well, I would like to try, this summer, I will try. And see whether it made my life much easier or not.

Kalau tak boleh nak lumatkan semua, jangan tinggalkan semua.

Ps/ kekadang nak menangis hafal notes (-_-")

Ilalliqa' salam alaikum>>>I have read my goals for today

Small thing that makes medical student happy

2011-05-02T11:09:00.000-07:00

It's normal for lecturers to give you notes, which are quite compact compared to the whole things that they told us during lectures. After months we left the notes, basically what we have learnt before will just vanish unless we have proper notes jotted down during the lectures. Im a guy, a normal guy who can hardly do something simultaneously, im not multitasker. So basically, my notes are not that impressive.

So, when I go back and review all the notes, most of the time, it left me with these questions, what on earth are these supposed to mean???

Even after googling and reread the notes for like thousand times, I might still have problem understanding the relationship of all the things written in the notes. Even the additional references given is not helping at all.

And.........when we just about to give up and just bluntly memorized the whole things, suddenly He showed us the answer. Just by a minor coincidental, we found it. And that's when we got to the A'ha moment...."A'ha, this is what im looking for!","A'ha, this is the reason!". etc.

That's one of the happiest moment of a med student. The A'ha moment.

Ilalliqa' salam alaikum>>>I have read my goals for today

Pos barang ke Ireland

2011-05-01T08:03:00.000-07:00

Sudah kebiasaan, kadang2 kita nak hantar barang dari Malaysia ke sini, selalunya makanan la. Di Malaysia tak terasa nak hargai, dah dok sini 3 4 bulan mulalah tercari-cari, kakah sup, perencah peket, perencah nasi goreng cina. Dekat sini, memang mentakedarah la harganya.

Ada dua perkhidmatan pos malaysia dalam bab menghantar barang2. Satu melalui udara, satu lagi laut.

Ikut udara ni cepat sampai, dalam seminggu, tapi harga, mak aih. RM 75 utk 1Kg kalau tak silap. Hari tu ade la suruh mak hantarkan, buku2 yang masih dok kat rumah. Dah la buku medik ni memang berat kejadah. terpaksa beli kat Malaysia, murah habis, beli kat kedai nama Syarikat Kamal, sumber buku medik murah. Tahun lepas x terbaca pon buku tebal2 ni, guna notes jugak last2. Tahun ni, barulah ada masa baca extensive sikit, best pulak baca buku tebal, hehe. Ah, bacanya hanya part2 tertentu saja, so tade hal la.

Ikut laut pula, memang murah, 10Kg sekitar RM100. Sampai dalam masa 2-3 bulan. Ha, memang berjanggut menunggu. So basically, orang akan post awal2 barang2 berat2 waktu summer holiday. Bila dah bukak kolej balik, sedang2 la sampai bungkusan tu.

Ingat balik malaysia nanti nak borong buku banyak2 dekat MPH KBMALL pastu post. Wahhh, heaven hidup.

Oh tarikh pulang, 18 June!!! We'll be home! Again! This time, insyaAllah will celebrate raya at home sweet home!!! With all the bunga api, mercun bola, mercun bom segala....Melawat sedara-mara...Wah, 2 tahun beraya perantauan. Tahun ni insyaAllah anakmu kan pulang! Raya tahun ni pula, bersamaan dengan Hari Merdeka, wah, meriah!

Hoh, ok, sambung menghafal...notes dah direproduce...tinggalnya dihadam sebaik mungkin di dalam otak.

Allahumma yassir wala tuassir!

Ilalliqa' salam alaikum>>>I have read my goals for today

Percaya

2011-04-29T08:46:00.001-07:00

Makin lama direnungi diri, makin kukenal cara diri ini bertindak....

Kadang2, bila kepercayaan tiada, walau ada keberanian, tak terlaksana juga apa yang dihajatkan,

Namun, jika kepercayaan itu ada, akan muncul keberanian yang sebenar-benarnya,

Dan segala hajat insyaAllah terlaksana.

Percaya pada diri, manusia mempunyai kebolehan yang berbagai....

Percaya kita boleh lakukannya,

InsyaAllah segala yang kita lakukan akan penuh dengan minat,

Tiada rungutan, hanya keinginan....

Live with passion!

Ilalliqa' salam alaikum>>>I have read my goals for today

Mereka yang bakal sampei UK/Ireland

2011-04-27T15:20:00.000-07:00

Biasalah kita dengar predeparture sebelum sampai ke oversea ni. Orang kata, nak tau the big picture about life of a malaysian student in here.

Dulu, disebabkan saya pelajar Kyuem, saya join MOC, program dalam video ni promo untuk pelajar KMB barangkali

Kehidupan di sini tidak banyak membawa makna dna mungkin sahaja membosankan, unless we proactively look for it.

Ilalliqa' salam alaikum>>>I have read my goals for today

Umi dan Baba

2011-04-25T05:31:00.000-07:00

Ada seorang berkata, petua menggapai kejayaan, ingatlah pengorbanan ibu bapa.

Jujurnya, itulah motivasi terkuat yang menolak aku terus membelek buku tidak kira siang dan malam sewaktu di sekolah dahulu. Mereka telah berkorban untuk melihat diri ini menggapai kejayaan, dan atas kesedaran itu, aku teruskan berusaha.

Kerana belajarku bersebab, aku teruskan langkah.

Kini, itu persoalannya.

Jika diberikan manusia sebab untuk mati, nescaya mereka akan cuba sedaya upaya untuk menghilangkan nyawa dari badan.

Maka, dimanakah sebabku itu sekarang? Adakah sebab itu tidak terlalu kukuh, ataupun halangan nafsu yang menghalang langkahku yang lebih pantas?

We are here for a reason. Muhasabah2.

Ilalliqa' salam alaikum>>>I have read my goals for today

Kegagalan make you stronger. Find that!

2011-04-20T08:23:00.000-07:00

Ilalliqa' salam alaikum>>>I have read my goals for today

Tengok ni, give them chance! Medical School Experience

2011-04-17T12:08:00.000-07:00

Ilalliqa' salam alaikum>>>I have read my goals for today

Belajar Medik di Ireland TCD?

2011-04-16T11:22:00.000-07:00

Emmm. Just promo je. nak tau seidkit sebanyak pasal studying in ireland. Boleh lawati ppimi.org

Ilalliqa' salam alaikum>>>I have read my goals for today

What makes medicine bit more interesting?

2011-04-16T00:13:00.001-07:00

it's small little things like....

Compete with your friends, who can memorize lecture notes more.... yeah....

Have study group, and discuss, and make jokes....emmm....ok

Find interesting way to study....coloring books?

Talk about medicine when you meet your long-time-no-see friends

Ask your friends questions and insult them! Not insult insult, just joking.

Read doctor's blog, or medical student's blog

But most importantly, we will not gonna do this, if we don't have a good reason to do medicine.

Ilalliqa' salam alaikum>>>I have read my goals for today

Pernah dapat masalah ni?

2011-04-14T10:28:00.000-07:00

1. When we start college, we feel excited.

2. When we lack the study skills needed, we start feeling bad.

3. Then we find ways to escape the bad feelings (excessive internet, video games, drinking, hanging out, partying, and so on).

Ilalliqa' salam alaikum>>>I have read my goals for today

Hilangkah Melayu

2011-04-12T22:42:00.000-07:00

Ilalliqa' salam alaikum;I have read my goals for today

Dream which has always been a dream

2011-04-01T09:51:00.000-07:00

Had a nightmare. Served me right for sleeping after Jumuat huh.

In the dream, I remember I have couple, what we called, in a relationship, but not marriage.

Every now and then, there are those feelings, feelings of a teenager etc....

But what's terrifying was, I don't like the fact that I have a couple. I don't care if people think that im saying this out of vanity, like Im good enough. Yada yada yada.

Truth is, as a guy, I do have that feeling, you know, just wanna tell her (which was long time ago) that we should be in a relationship yada yada yada...but yeah, I never did that.

When I had this dream, it was really weird, I was so fretful, I hate the fact that I was in a relationship!

I remember i was somehow in an apartment, with all my friends, we all kind of celebrating something, celebrating 'us'? And I don't know who 'she' was in the dream. I know it's someone, a figure, human, female, i just don't know who. I was so fretful because I was thinking about breaking up, it's too uncomfortable to be responsible for someone who you cannot guarantee will end up living with you, for entire life.

Heck, I even hope it was a dream, which it wasn't, but reality is, it is a dream. You know, dream in a dream.

I know there's something in myself that cannot accept that I, being in such a relationship. Yes, it is wrong as a muslim, but there's something else, saying it was not right.

I didn't even get it how I ended up being in a relationship!

Oh why on earth am I posting this? Sometimes, I can hardly retain information about my dream, so here i am, writing this, so that it's not gonna lost forever. Heheh. Well, I found this interesting.

ps/ so shocked when I got an email, which was just a spam. Ah, forget it!

ps/ my life sucked after SPM, I lost what I call, urge to get something in life. and as a young boy that time, I didn't know how to figure i out. I've lost something, but I don't know. Now, after almost 4 years, that part of me, I can feel it in myself again. The part of me who always make me smiling, part of me who knows what he wants so badly.

Selingan/ mainan terbaru :)

Ilalliqa' salam alaikum;I have read my goals for today

Make it real

2011-03-21T10:20:00.000-07:00

Ilalliqa' salam alaikum>>>I have read my goals for today

What Im doing during St Paddy

2011-03-17T06:54:00.000-07:00

Yes. I went shopping. Tetiba jumpa kerang nih, entah la orang panggil apa. Nampak cam sodap, lom try.

Oh ni sedikit pemandangan dlaam perjalanan

Ilalliqa' salam alaikum>>>I have read my goals for today

Repetition is the mother of skill

2011-03-05T22:19:00.000-08:00

Was talking about repetition.

Then it hit me.

There are actually those who are talented on what they are doing.

And there are those who don't

Both can do the job, but, with different capacity.

We, who don't have the talent, can be talented enough, when we make repetition, double or triple to those who are so called talented

Ilalliqa' salam alaikum>>>I have read my goals for today

They say Im....

2011-03-04T00:26:00.000-08:00

I dont think im a funny guy.

But people tend to put me as a comedian, i mean, not all people, some of them.

I feel a lil bit uncomfortable when people say, I was trying to impress people.

Because they know Im not a funny guy, most of the time.

My sister know I like to make stupid jokes. Because we made stupid jokes all the time.

I don't make jokes.

I just imitated the characters around me, which I think, weird and funny.

I like to copy how other's act, their accent, their body language, their voice, it's just interesting.

And most of them said, Im a comedian.

Well, honestly, it's not that Im trying to impress anyone.

It's just my nature, to loosen up a bit.

Chill.

I dont think it's wrong.

It felt a lot better.

Ilalliqa' salam alaikum>>>I have read my goals for today

Indahnya didikan itu

2011-02-28T11:47:00.001-08:00

Subhanallah indah sungguh cara penyampaian Dr MAZA, namun indah lagi maksud di dalamnya.

Kadang2 saya terasa, pabila mendapat nikmat duit yang banyak, dapat beli ikut suka hati, Allah telah tarik satu nikmat yang lain, nikmat kepuasan dan gembira terhadap apa yang kita ada.

Teringat juga dikala, duit menjadi masalah, sehingga terpaksa meminjam sewaktu masalah melanda suatu masa dahulu, sewaktu itu, ku lebih mengenali diri ini, dan hidup ini lebih bermakna...

Saat itu aku sedar harta banyak langsung tidak bermakna jika kebahagiaan tidak diperoleh.

Indah sungguh didikan diberikanNya.

Tidaklah bermakna untuk kita tidak mencari harta, carilah, cuma apakah makna harta tersebut dan apakah yang akan dilakukan dengan harta itu, akan menentukan perolehan nikmat yang dikurniakanNya.

Indah.

Dalam kekurangan, aku belajar...

Indah sekali.

Ilalliqa' salam alaikum>>>I have read my goals for today

Imaginasi budak kecik

2011-02-28T00:02:00.001-08:00

Pernah mempunyai imaginasi yang pelik2 sewaktu kecil?

Saya masih ingat betapa peliknya cara saya berimaginasi sewaktu kecil.

Setiap kali nak minum air, selalunya air nescafe susu atau milo susu, sebagaimana yang saya panggil sewaktu kecik dulu.

Saya guna kelas yang panjang, bukan cawan la. Selalunya yang ada pemegang sekali tu. Bila minum, saya suka letakkan gelas kat mulut lama2, telan air sikit2.

Tabiat saya ialah, saya suka letakkan tangan satu lagi dekat bahagian atas gelas yang sedang diminum tu, pastu saya berimaginasi tangan tu sebagai seorang pahlawan yang sedang berlawan dengan musuh yang saya imaginasikan sendiri.

Haa, boleh kata, ambik masa jugalah bila saya nak minum tuh, Sebab minum air antara benda yang membosankan, jadi waktu tu saya gabungkan dengan suatu aktiviti lain supaya aktiviti minum tidaklah begitu lame.

Tidak pasti pula bilakah saya berhenti berbuat sedemikian. Mungkin bila sudah semakin dewasa, faktor persekitaran telah membunuh daya imaginasi sewaktu kecil dulu. Hidup sudah menjadi normal, bosan, tidak lagi sesuatu yang saya kata, "Benda ni mantap!Menarik gila!Ni aku boleh buat nih!". Pada masa tuh, saya akan rasa sesuatu benda tidak lagi menarik jika ramai orang membuat benda yang sama. Ah, tak uniklah.

I think that old kid, had long disappeared...but maybe he's here again, to make my life adventerous again, unique.

Ilalliqa' salam alaikum>>>I have read my goals for today

Keluarga

2011-02-26T02:08:00.000-08:00

Keluarga.

Bukan nak cerita hal berkeluarga, nak cerita pasal keluarga sendiri, adik beradik.

Dalam ketaksuban membantu diri dan sahabat utk sama2 memajukan diri dan sama2 berjuang di jalanNya, terlupa, ataupun tiada matlamat, untuk membantu, ahli keluarga sendiri.

Mungkin muncul dari perasaan kekok. Kerana dah saling kenal hati budi masing2, selama ni tidak pernha pulak nak cakap benda2 macam ni, tiba2, nak ajak adik beradik supaya sama2 bergerak dalam jalan yang baik.

Mereka sudah ok, namun perlu lebih kebersamaan dalam hal ni, supaya mereka juga faham.

We need to be better, not just some ordinary family.

Ilalliqa' salam alaikum>>>I have read my goals for today

Bercerita mengenai perjalanan kehidupan

2011-02-19T03:27:00.001-08:00

Bercakap mengenai matlamat. Hidup kita matlamat utamanya mestilah untuk beribadah kepada Allah. Dalam mencapai matlamat ini, kita menjalani kehidupan sehari-harian dengan melaksanakan perancangan kearah mencapai matlamat ini.

Ingin saya bercakap mengenai 2 matlamat lain yang pernah saya gariskan dalam blog ni. Pertama, kesihatan badan demi matlamat menjadi pakar martial arts. Kedua mencapai keputusan peperiksaan yang baik justeru menjadi seorang doktor yang betul2 menyempurakan amanahnya sebagaiseorang doktor yang bagus.

Sekarang, saya menjalani kehidupan, melaksanakan perancangan terhadap matlamat sampingan ini. Suka saya berkata yang, motivasi untuk penerusan menjalankan matlamat ni, kadang2 susah nak dicari. Contoh, untuk exercise, apabila berada di gym barulah bersemangat, untuk study, kalau berada di library barulah fokus penuh.

Namun saya melihat peningkatan dari segi exercising. Sekarang saya sudah membiasakan diri untuk exercise di rumah, gym kadang2. Maknanya suasana exercise di gym tu sedikit sebanyak saya dapat bawa ke rumah. Berbanding dengan study, suasana dan semangat, fokus study di library itu masih tidak dapat diasimilasikan dengan keadaan bilik sendiri.

Saya rasakan sangat perlu untuk penyesuaian diri untuk study dimana-mana dapat dibina, kerana kalau asyik kena pergi library je untuk belajar, susah la bile jadi doktor. 2 faktor, environment mahupun faktor dalaman. Faktor environment boleh sahaja diubah jikalau mindset diri sendiri dapat diubah. InsyaAllah. Saya percaya ianya boleh berlaku. A lil bit of adjustment.

Hmm, dan saya rasakan, exercising membuatkan saya merasa positif, untuk terus belajar dan membaca, dan bekerja. Macam saya kata, our physiology do change ouur mind.

Ilalliqa' salam alaikum>>>I have read my goals for today

Ergh, comel sangat

2011-02-16T09:25:00.000-08:00

Bila dah kawin, nak bela sekor kucing yang comel gile camni. Tengok je rasa nak senyum.

Ilalliqa' salam alaikum>>>I have read my goals for today

Sibukkan diri

2011-02-10T08:30:00.000-08:00

Teringat pula PUISI 2009, KAIZEN, Continuous improvement.

Saya merasakan apabila kita diberi tugasan berbagai dan kita cuba sedaya upaya untuk melaksanakannya demi cita2 yang kita semua dokong bersama, ianya akan menjadi manis, dan tiada siapa yang akan mengeluh. Kerana kita tahu orang lain juga bersama kita untuk menuju kearah matlamat yang sama, masing2 berusaha dengan cara masing-masing.

Tidak lagi kita kisah kena bangun pagi2 even pada hujung minggu sebab ada tugas yang kena diselesaikan kerana, kita ada sebab untuk melaksanakannya. Bukan sebab duit, bukan sebab apa, tapi kerana kita tahu, setiap hari, adalah hari untuk kita perbaiki diri. Untuk menjadi lebih baik dari semalam. Dan untuk mencapai matlamat itu.

Mungkin sahaja selama ini saya mengeluh apabila lebih sibuk dari biasa, kerana tidak cukup masa untuk rilek2, tengok movie, layan facebook, post kat blog banyak2 adalah disebabkan saya tidak punya sebab untuk bergerak. Untuk perbaiki diri setiap hari. Tidak hingin. Jadi, apabila ada masa terluang, terus saya berehat, tengok movie dan sebagainya. Namun, teori saya, lagi banyak berehat, lagi banyak minda kita disetkan bahawa hidup ini lebih indah jika banyak rehat. Akibatnya, kita tidak berubah dan tidak meningkatkan abiliti diri dari semasa ke semasa.

Walaupun dalam masa seminggu, ada 5 hari yang kita peruntuk untuk study, namun apabila kita betul2 nikmati rehat pada 2 hari di hujung minggu, buat benda lagha banyak, minda kita akan kembali di set bahawa, apa yang kita kejar ialah rehat di hujung minggu.

Namun, waktu itu, tidak saya sedari kehidupan sewaktu bekerja saya tidaklah sebegitu menyenangkan, tidak banyak rehat, makan kadang2 x sempat. Kadang2 saya frust memikirkan nasib bila bekerja nanti.

Namun, setelah saya memahami sebab kenapa kita perlu bergerak dan menyumbang, saya faham bahawa, inilah hidup yang sebenar, dan ianya lebih indah, kadang2 penat, namun lebih indah dan manis, kerana kita bekerja demi matlamat yang besar, bukan setakat bekerja, kerana kita semua akan mati, dan sebelum mati aku tidak ingin menjawab persoalan, "Adakah sudah cukup segala yang aku buat selama aku hidup ini untuk mendapat balasan yang baik?" dengan jawapan yang mengecewakan.

Dulu, saya langsung tidak faham. Saya mengejar kesenangan, rilek2, yang akhirnya membunuh diri sendiri dari dalam.

Sebab itulah, sebelum ini, saya merasakan sangat tak best kalau disibukkan dengan tugas, kerana saya nakkan rehat, namun, akibatnya, diri tidak updated, guna OS lama, x efficient. Padahal, kerja pada masa akan datang memerlukan saya menjadi yang sebaliknya.

Suka saya berkata, sebelum ini saya melihat, doktor perempuan mesti sibuk gila, bila dah bersuami mesti tak ada masa untuk keluarga. Habis porak peranda keluarga nanti. Namun, sekarang saya sedar bahawa, doktor perempuan ni, setelah melalui 5 tahun, didikan sebagai pelajar perubatan, ditambah pula dengan tanggungjawab, mereka akan menjadi lebih berdisiplin, pandai menjaga masa dan sebagainya.

Dulu saya merasakan kalau nak cari isteri doktor, rasa macam tak sedap hati, namun sebenarnya kita kena sedar, orang yang sibuk itu selalunya lebih pandai menjaga masa, lebih pandai mengatur kehidupan. Berbanding ornag lain yang kelihatan tak berapa sibuk, mungkin mereka kurang mendapat didikan dari aspek tersebut. Jadi, hujah saya mengatakan isteri doktor kemungkinan akan bermasalah tidak lagi rasional. Tapi, orang ni sepatutnya bukan setakat sibuk dengan tugasan pelajar medik, namun juga sibuk dengan kerja2 menyumbang kepada masyarakat, kalau belajar, semua orang pun sibuk.

Bolehlah cari isteri doktor :p

Ilalliqa' salam alaikum>>>I have read my goals for today

Update my country

2011-02-09T06:12:00.000-08:00

I have read a book, im not sure it is Donald Trump or Robert Kiyosaki saying, about, everyone of us, regardless of what kind of job we have, we need to have knowledge in basic finance or something abour managing our finance.

Well, now I will say, we need to know this, this might be new reformation for the country, the place where we gonna live. this is one of the thing we need to know to be successful in the future. This kind of knowledfe.

Ilalliqa' salam alaikum>>>I have read my goals for today

Timeline

2011-02-06T11:45:00.001-08:00

No such thing as gifted, those who are so called gifted must work so bloody hard to be called that.

Ok, I forgot to put timeline to my goals. Deadline for them to be achieved.

1. Since exam in 4 months, so, 4 months it is.

2. Well, I think I will get this in 2 years time. Making english as second nature to my tongue is still not that easy. Since I already have...... malay and kelantanese languange! lol

3. I said be ready to get started again in martial arts, or maybe parkour, I think 1 year is enough. That means till the end of this year.

4. I think I will put this before summer. So 4 months it is.

4114. PUUP.

Ilalliqa' salam alaikum>>>I have read my goals for today

To beginners for parkour

2011-02-04T11:17:00.000-08:00

I like this guy so much. He's not like some guy in the street. He knows what he's saying. He applied it.

What's better, he kinda an expert in motivational theory.

Good advice. Start from scratch, build your muscle, and then, boom, all those moves will be easily done. I could not agree more. Used to get those experiences.

Ilalliqa' salam alaikum>>>I have read my goals for today

Aku berimpikan menjadi lelaki sihat

2011-02-01T13:43:00.000-08:00

Teringin untuk membincangkan mengenai gol-gol yang telah saya tuliskan sebelum ini.

Setakat ini alhamdulillah perancangan untuk mencapai gol tersebut telah terlaksana.

Kali ni nak bincang pasal aspek kesihatan badan pula. gol saya untuk menguasai salah satu martial arts yang ada di bumi ni. Namun untuk saya memulakan latihandi bumi orang putih ni, nak tak nak kena ada badan yang mapan bagi mengelakkan kecederaan serius. jadi sekarang ni saya masih lagi di tahap persediaan untuk melibatkan diri dengan lebih serius.

Setelah sekian lama gym ditinggalkan, maka saya kembali menyambung latihan jasmani untuk kekuatan stamina badan. Juga melatih otot badan menerima kesakitan. Setakat ni perginya saya ke gym masih lagi konsisten, dan diharapkan akan berterusan.

Ada sesetengah kawan yang give up pergi gym kerana katanya its not worth it. Kecuali kalau kita makan protein barulah dapat bina badan. Hm, kalau golnya setakat nak dapat body yang bagus, sampai bila nak bermotivasi kan. Tapi ada juga yang tetap bermotivasi, namun kena minum protein. Saya masih sangsi dengan penggunaan makanan tambahan untuk mencapai kesihatan ni. Dengarnya penggunaan protein dalam jangka lama boleh menyebabkan renal problem.

Ah, dapat badan berketul sangat pon nanti susah nak melompat susah nak terajang sana sini ye tak. Dapatkan bentuk badan yang ideal sudah. Sesuai untuk apa yang kita ingin lakukan.

Motivasi untuk ke gym? Untuk saya sendiri, tengok apa yang kita nak dapat la, pastu ingatkan setiap hari mengenai apa yang kita peroleh tu. insyaAllah kalau setiap hari diingatkan, maka secara automatiknya minda separuh sedar kita akan di-set-kan untuk bergerak apabila tiba masanya. Ianya dipanggil operent conditioning.

And I kinda like the pain it gave me, from stretching my muscles. When you change your body physiology, it will change your state of mind.

Satu benda pasal gym ni, ramai orang. Contoh, kekadang saya akan pegi kayuh basikal statik, dalam 20 minit. Untuk teruskan kayuhan tu, saya selalu tengok orang sebelah yang tengah kayuh basikal jugak. So saya motivate diri dengan mengatakan, aku takkan berenti selagi mamat sebelah ni tak berenti, kalau perempuan, lagilah takleh nampak lemah. Hehe. Samala macam bab melibatkan berat, saya perhatikan jugak orang2 lain, beban kita guna takleh la ringan sangat, at least sama macam beban yg diguna oleh mat saleh yang paling lemah kat situ. Mat saleh paling lemah adalah mat saleh yang tak berapa ada ketul2. hehe.

Sebenarnya banyak lagi yang saya inginkan, seperti nak belajar berenang. Huh, sampai sekarang tak tahu berenang. Takpe, kita setel satu2. tapi kena cepat2, nanti dah kahwin takda masa nak buat semua ni. Huhu.

Namun masalah juga kerana gym ni selalunya melibatkan lelaki dan perempuan campur sekali, problem kalau ada perempuan yang rasa gym tu macam bilik dia punya. Ceis. nak fokus pon susah. Takpe, nasib baik ada TV, bleh usha TV. Hehe.

There's no need to be ketul-ketul, as long as it shaped isn't it!

Akli Salim min Jismi Salim!

Ilalliqa' salam alaikum>>>I have read my goals for today

Cat!!!

2011-01-26T13:38:00.000-08:00

I just love cats. See the cat in the picture? Im pretty sure he was like, "Why da heck is tis mouse sittin here? Should I?"

The face of curiosity. When no one else care.

Ilalliqa' salam alaikum>>>I have read my goals for today

Trust

2011-01-15T08:40:00.001-08:00

You know what hurt so bad?

People don't believe you when you screwed up so much before that. They have that look. We can tell that they are just scared, scared we will make that mistakes again. Even if we tell them, 'that's the old me, I have changed and I will do better', they might not probably like the idea.

And me. Sometimes, I feel down, since there are still people who unintentionally don't believe it.

It was my fault, I admit, but, there is no need to build that awkward moment. Thank God Im ready for this. Ready to be tough when people don't think you're that tough. I will be. Promise.

Ilalliqa' salam alaikum>>>I have read my goals for today

6 human emotional needs

2011-01-14T03:42:00.000-08:00

So I will share how I fulfill these needs for myself now.

1. Certainty - I go to Him. I read what He told us in the Quran. I also read inspiring books. Then I will be certain, that I will be safe as long as Im not going out of boundaries.

2. Uncertainty - I took new challenge. I get involved in society, and I fight for its right, I fight for the future that we'll live.

3. Significant - I try to be someone who is needed and unique for the society, someone people can trust. I studied harder, so that some of them can rely on me on some stage. I have experienced something that not many people would wanna go through, and I've learnt something that not many people have. It was hard, but I learnt my lesson.

4. Love and connection - I can feel the ukhuwwah. It's sweet. Really is. Because Im smiling when I write this. I know lotta people care about me, even though Im far from home. And also I try to improve my connection with Him. And yes, thinking of getting married earlier maybe :p. You know, I have this mechanism to show that people love me, the moment when I made people smile, that's when I feel it.

5. Growth - I have goals. I need to get myself to these goals. So everyday, I forced myself to improve. Whatever it is, I cannot stuck to my old self, I need to be newer everyday. Sometimes, I get this, sometimes, I dont. But, I will eventually get this.

6. Contribution - I am in society here in Dublin. When I have all these 5 emotional needs in myself, of course I am freakin motivated to contribute. I want to contribute to my country. One day, when im working in Malaysia, I wanna see a country which implemented all the islamic values. And Im pretty sure, at that time, people will live in peace. And everything gonna be ok, insyaAllah.

Ilalliqa' salam alaikum>>>I have read my goals for today

Quote of the day #2

2011-01-14T03:06:00.000-08:00

I think I will just quote more and more inspiring words which had involved me before

For every good, there must be a bad. For every positive, there must first be a negative. For light to exist, there must first be darkness. For every market boom, there must first be a crash. For you to experience happiness, you must first experience sadness. For you to experience pride and inspiration, you must first have experienced disappointment and adversity. The greater the initial failure and disappointment, the sweeter will be the pride of success.

Oh and I promise to look up to my Goals on the right side bar everyday. I mean, everyday!

Ilalliqa' salam alaikum

I will be studying after this

Be the Genius that We Want

2011-01-13T06:37:00.000-08:00

I quote this from someone. Someone I admire I must say. And most of his technique I have tried, and it worked. It did change me a little. But I want more changes!

Before you can succeed as trader, you have to first put in 10,000 hours studying stock charts.
Before you can become a best-selling author, you have to write for 10,000 hours
Before you can succeed in gold, you have to hit golf balls for 10,000 hours
Before you can succeed in sales, you must spend 10,000 hours selling in front of customers

Ilalliqa' salam alaikum

I will be studying after this

These are My Goals

2011-01-12T12:21:00.000-08:00

Ok, Im in rage! I mean, for real. Nobody's gonna stop me.

It's new year......

Yeay~!~!

I know it's a lil bit too late to celebrate. But, whatever. I am now so in adrenaline rush. Because I have made my decision, to have new year resolutions.

Isn't it too late already?

No, it's not. I decide when I will make my resolution, not time, but me. Im in control of this.

So here they are :

1. Getting first class in at least 2 moduls. Specifically. I will have my own medical dictionary, handmade. I will work more on my answering skills and ask lecturers more questions. Oh, not to forget, do a lot of practises.

2. Improve my english speaking skill to the point that I can debate with my irish friends. Be bold and stupid, just talk to any strangers.

3. Getting fit, weight should be minimum 55Kg with healthy looking body, ready to indulge in martial arts world. Ok Im adding specificity to this. I will add 1Kg every month. So, I guess I will be 60Kg in September. 65Kg before 2012.

4. Make sure Surah Yasin, Saff, Nuh, Sajdah, and Al-Mulk are memorized and understood. Specifically, I will retain the story in the quran in malay, i mean, in my head only.

Basically, I have been doing all these things before but its just not in a consistent manner. So, I dont get much from the results.

Now, I have the goals. I will lay out the plans later. For now, this is what I want and each of them have their own timeline. I will try my best to get this and hopefully this blog will remind me of them everytime I open it.

Ilalliqa' salam alaikum

I will be studying after this

People believe this?

2011-01-10T23:42:00.000-08:00

Facebook baru.Kami akan menghantar mesej ini di sekitar untuk melihat apakah anggota aktif atau tidak. Jika anda aktif sila hantar ke minimal 15 pengguna lain menggunakan Copy + Paste untuk menunjukkan bahawa anda masih aktif. * Mereka yang tidak menghantar mesej ini dalam masa 2 minggu akan dihapuskan tanpa ragu-ragu untuk mencipta lebih banyak ruang .*Hantar mesej ini ke semua teman-teman anda dan untuk menunjukkan bahawa anda masih aktif dan anda tidak akan dihapuskan.Pengasas Facebook,Mark Zuckerbe.

Seriously, people believe this? Seriously?

There will be lot more in Malaysia. I wonder how are we gonna change the future of Malaysia if we can believe things that easily. Yeah, I know this analysis seems too....insignificant? But in real life, it happened. People just believe. Don't they have their own judgement?

Ilalliqa' salam alaikumI will be studying after this

Winning this is a big deal

2011-01-10T13:21:00.000-08:00

I need to win. I need to win. I need to win. No, I want to win!

There are lot of brilliant students in my class. And I wanna get the highest among them.

My english is not that good. But I still wanna win.

Failed once. Does not mean no more chance for winning this.

Ilalliqa' salam alaikum

I will be studying after this

Impian dan Cita2

2011-01-09T01:39:00.000-08:00

Manusia yang mempunyai banyak pengalaman merupakan manusia yang sangat menarik. Berbanding mereka yang hanya baca dan bercakap, saya lebih menyukai mereka yang telah mengalaminya sendiri.

Saya ada satu impian, semenjak kecil, untuk menjadi martial arts master. hulamak. Secara jujurnya saya sendiri tidak pernah berusaha keras untuk menjadinya. Dari dulu sampai sekarang lebih kepada berusaha untuk belajar dan akhirnya menjadi seorang doktor.

Saya sangat terkesan apaila membaca sebuah blog seorang doktor ni. Disamping menjadi seorang doktor yang berjaya, dia juga merupakan seorang magician. Saya kira beliau berjaya melihatkan pencapaiannya sebagai doktor yang mungkin telah mendapat title specialist. Saya sendiri tidak pasti. Namun walaupun masanya diguna untuk belajar medik, dia juga pandai mencari masa untuk melakukan hobinya sebagai magician.

Saya sentiasa mempunyai impian untuk mempelajari martial arts dengan lebih mendalam. Kadang2 saya berangan-angan sendirian di dalam bilik, berlawan dengan oppponent yang entah datang dari mana. Kadang2 saya bermimpi berada dalam gelanggang sparring. Betapa seronoknya perasaan tersebut.

Saya juga ingin memiliki pengalaman berlawan ataupun sparring. Sekali kita lawan, kita akan belajar banyak benda. Sakit pun dapat, tu biasa la kan. Tapi, pengalaman ni susah nak dapat. Kalau pernah sparring pun, tu lama dulu.

Saya sangat berharap saya akan lebih rajin mengejar impian kanak2 ini disamping megejar cita2. Orang lain boleh buat, takkan diri sendiri tak boleh? Namun, ia memerlukan disiplin yang tinggi.

I believe I can, but I need to sacrifice lotta things.

Ilalliqa' salam alaikum

I will be studying after this

Diary of a bored man

2011-01-08T00:24:00.000-08:00

Im kinda stuck with facebook for now. My housemates off to Spain like 3 days ago. And Im too lazy to get out of this house and visit friends.

Everyday, I plan to finish a book, to do extra homework, or anything interesting. But, meh, Im still here, facebook, youtube etcetera...

Oh ya, facebook. Im so amazed at how certain people just add another people randomly. And then, she put lot of her pictures. And yes, I dont know her. And Im not sure how she ended up in my friend list. And she's a she. A muslimah I must say based on her attire. I think she liked it when people praised her for her beauty, which is weird. A muslimah rarely acted like that. I know mostly everything about her, and I think she's getting married. I really don't know why. Why she's even in my friend list. Why should I know her. People are weird. And i think Im lame.

Oh youtube. There's this new series on TV3 called Hani. I watched it, and in the second episode, I sensed, the story immitated tha japanese popular heart-touching story, 1 litre of tears. Basically, this malay version kinda made me laugh. Well, its a good effort to combine 1 litre of tears and Aku Terima Nikahnya. But the actors were just not that brilliant like the japanese. There were no feeling and maturity at all. Like seriously.

Maybe what my friend told me is true. He said malay language nowadays does not met the requirement to be a really mature language. I dont know how to say this. If you watch indonesian movies, they made great movies with great quotes. When they say it, it sound so, interesting. Malay language in P Ramlee era was great. But nowadays, it has lost its umph. The language only for typical malay movie, lawak and love story. Well, I dont know really, just an opinion of a bored guy.

Its weird. At one time in my life, I think people (read: women) who look innocent and trying to look cute are interesting. But now, my perception has turned 180, I think those who are more matured are more interesting. The way they talk, the way they give view about something, the way they present life are totally mesmerising. Lol. What Im talking about. Blame 1 litre of tears!

Ok next. Still in a holiday mood. im still thinking about getting a job. What job will I get. Still not sure. I dont have any experience before, I think a cleaner is a good start. We'll see.

Ilalliqa' salam alaikum

I will be studying after this

Brilliant friend 5

2011-01-07T12:41:00.000-08:00

Him : Will you punch a girl on her face?

Me : Never

Him : Why?

Me : Seriously, girl? You punch girls? Like seriously?

Him : No,Im just asking.

Me : Whats your point?

Him : Nothing really. Will you punch a guy?

Me : Yes if needed.

Him : What about guy who look like a girl?

Me : ???

Him : Yeah. Will you punch them?

Me : I honestly not sure.

Him : Hmm, interesting. Thats why these fake women should not be allowed to exist in Malaysia.

Me : I dont get your point.

Him : Me neither.

Me : Know what, I feel like punching someone right now.

In order to make this post not that useless, let me share this video.

Enjoy

Ilalliqa' salam alaikum

I will be studying after this

Tawaran euww di malam hari

2011-01-05T16:09:00.000-08:00

Tepat pukul 12 malam. Tetiba ada orang add kat YM. Saya jarang chat YM, saya approve je sesape, pastu saya biar je sehingga orang yang add tu sapa.

Tapi kali ni kisahnya lain dari yang lain. Sebaik saya approve, terus disapa

Kal : morning

Me : err morning

Kal : awal bangun

Me : tak pun, kat sini still 12 malam

Kal : owh, ingat kat malaysia, kat ne ni?

Me : Dublin. ni sape?

......setelah perbualan stop seketika, tetiba dia menyambung,

Kal : nak main?

dalam kepala saya mula terasa tidak selesa, entahlah samada saya ni jenis cepat buruk sangka ke apa, tapi pertanyaannya sedikit semacam. saya jawab,

Me : main apa?

Kal : 'main'

OMG!!! terasa mual!!! nama Kal ni saya agak jantan la kot.

Me : maaf

Kal : ok

perbualan berhenti seketika, kemudian disambung

Kal : free

Me : anda ni lelaki ke pompuan ye?

Kal : laki

OMG!!! hampir muntah!!! ceis, kalau budak ni tanya depan2, agaknya dah naik chopping kick kat atas kepala nih.

Me : sekali lagi maaf

Kal : eh mana de laki

Kal : mesti la pompuan

Pompuan ke laki ke pedulik hapa. Tapi aku still pasti ko lelaki. Memang nak kena terajang betul.

Me : either way, sorry

Me : saya x penah main dan xkan main

Kal : ok

ERRR, pengalaman kisah seram hidup di Dublin! and euww!!!

Ilalliqa' salam alaikum

I will be studying after this

Kelebihan kurniaan

2011-01-05T02:48:00.000-08:00

Rasanya Allah telah mengurniakan masa yang lebih untuk saya. Dan beberapa berita baik telah pun diterima. Syukur sesangat. Semoga apa yang berlaku dapat dilihat dari kacamata yang positif.

Namun masih lagi, kelalaian berlaku. Pernah tak, sebelum tidur, pada malam harinya, rasa semangat gila untuk buat itu dan ini, berdoa semoga esok harinya akan dapat melaksanakan banyak perkara. Kemudiannya, keesokan harinya...... meh.

Suatu yang sangat tak patut dan menyakitkan hati.

"What on earth???!!"

Jadi, marilah kita berhenti di sini dan teruskan dengan agenda hari ini.

Ilalliqa' salam alaikum

I will be studying after this

Because Im not the best

2011-01-02T03:39:00.000-08:00

I have a dream. Its so high that I feel so shamed to admit this.

Not because i cannot do it.

It is just too high for the moment.

Right now, I dont think I will be able to be that good.

And grab the chance.

The chance might have already be taken by someone else.

Well, since it is open wide.

I feel shamed to even think about it. Astaga~

I know I can do this, but, I am just not the best.

If I am already changed right now, I think i might do it.

Well, let's look for the future.

Ilalliqa' salam alaikum

I will be studying after this

Update

2010-12-21T02:28:00.000-08:00

2 hari sebelum PUISI.

The gloomy day of winter has arrived. Thank God Im going somewhere and not stuck in here. Hopefully PUISI this year gonna be awsome.

Selama hampir 2 minggu blog x terupdate. Selalu bukak blog tapi hanya mengharapkan agar ada yang yang update blog, supaya boeh dinaca diwaktu yang bosan. Tapi nak update blog sendiri memang tak termampu. Dengan exam yang sememangnya memenatkan.

Ingin sekali berada di rumah waktu2 winter macam ni. Jalan2 kat kelantan. Sungguh merindui.

Teringat makanan2 kat rumah. Ironiknya, sewaktu balik hari tu, kempunan makan takdelah sampai macam ni. Biasa2 je. Takdelah nikmat sampai tahap macam yang difikirkan sekarang. hari tu pegi makan sate kajang, tapi feeling biasa sahaja. Bak kata orang, benda yang kita dah kehilangan barulah terasa nak hargainya. Haih.

Tahu apa yang ironik bila berkawan? Jika anda mempunyai kumpulan rakan yang berbeza2 dan bukan setakat hanya sejenis. Maksudnya yang hanya pandai buat lawak lame, ataupun yang hanya jenis baik2, ataupun hanya yang jenis huha2. Ya, kita mesti fikir, kawanlah dengan mereka yang baik2. Betul. Namun setiap kumpulan rakan ini ada kelebihan dan kekurangan masing2. Kadang2 ada yang hanya pandai memberi nasihat. Ada juga yang hanya pandai menjadi rakan yang membantu kita tatkala kita susah. Ada yang suka menjadi telinga untuk mendengar masalah kita. Ada yang hanya suka mendidik kita ilmu agama. Semuanya ada kebaikan, namun kebaikan hanya terhad dalam skala tertentu.

Jika ada banyak kumpulan rakan, saya kira ianya lebih menyenangkan hati. Bukan bermaksud macam, kadang2 bila perlukan yang ni, kita pergi ke kumpulan yang ni. Tapi ianya adalah variasi manusia yang mungkin perlu wujud. Kadang2 satu kumpulan tidak perfect dalam hal ni, tapi mereka lebih baik dari kumpulan2 lain dari segi yang lain pula.

Adakah ini sikap pentingkn diri sendiri. Tidak. Kot. Semua kita jadikan sahabat, namun kadang2 hanya sesetengah yang memahami keadaan kita pada masa2 tertentu.

Em.

Hopefully gonna see more friends in PUISI.

PUISI 2010!!! Kembara Tian Xia!!!

Ilalliqa' salam alaikum
I will be studying after this

Form 4 Form 5

2010-12-05T01:37:00.001-08:00

Tiba2 teringat kisah SPM. Oh, antara kisah hidup paling indah. Ni kes dengar lagu2 lama la ni.

Form 4 Form 5. Kat sekolah menengah Semekam. Banyak memori. Banyaknya gelak ketawa. Ye. Pemalu. Tak kenal ramai orang sampai kena cop sombong oleh batch sendiri. Ahaha. Macam mana nak kenal ramai orang, dah kita ni pemalu orangnya.

Aktiviti yang boleh saya katakan saya join secara istiqamah ialah kelas harian dan taekwondo. Usrah pun jarang2, haduih. Huh. Bila join taekwondo la kenal sikit2 pelajar dari batch lain. Batch bawah. Tak ramai. Rasanya keyakinan diri double triple jugak la bila masuk taekwondo.

Paling best? Cara study. Sempoi habis. Pagi2 pegi sekolah naik motor. Kalau pecut dalam 8 minit sampai je. Standard 15 minit la. Best gile naik motor sebab pagi dah sedut udara segar, sebelum kelas bermula, otak pun segar kan. Kadang2 terlambat 5 10 minit. Tapi selalu terlepas sebab dulu pengawas PSS. Haha. Kadang2 tu terbangun lewat, hampir pukul 7, pun still ok. Baju alamatnya tak tergosok la.

Kat kelas saya ada stiker, ianya jadual yang diambil dari kreko. So saya letak kat meja. Kat situ la jadi macam secret diari. Haha takleh blah. Sume ayat2 secret je, memang orang baca x paham r. Kalau tengok balik stiker tu, fuh, memori masa silam datang mencurah-curah. Situ la sweet memori terkubur. Hehe :)

Balik rumah 2.30 pecut naik motor. Sampai2 je letak beg, makan, masuk bilik. Bukak radio. Hulamak. Feeling habis. Study tak payah sakit kepala, study mood boleh kata all the time ada. So kiranya sambil dengar radio pon boleh study. Motif hidup waktu tu simple je, study dan hidup. Gangguan takde. Kawan rapat sume dok jauh2. Jauh la jugak, naik motor 15 minit. Hiburan? Hanya radio dan TV. Minor distraction. Internet dan handphone hadir dalam hidup selepas SPM. Fuh, nasib baik. Kalau tak, macam sekarang la jadinya.

Oh lupa. Waktu tu, saya ada sumber inspirasi. Bila tengok si dia, tatap dalam dekat sejam, peh, punyalah semangat feeling. Si dia tu saya kenal waktu form 4, terserempak dekat Ketereh. Nama dia Kreko. Hehe. Banyak doh cerita yang dia bagi, buat semangat berkobar-kobar. Serius.

Kenangan pahit. Takde la sangat. Kecuali bila dah keluar dari Semekam tetiba ada dengar berita tak best. Yang berkait dengan nama saya, skandal katanya, peh. Takleh blah. Saya ignore je, bila masa la pulak kita buat skandal. Lepas keluar semekam, ramai juga la sahabat2 kata diorang dapat berita tak best. Antaranya, berita diorang semua dah kawin. Pe kes? Haha, ni kes budak2 nak main2 la ni. Aduih, budak2 sekarang makin matured. Saya dulu tak penah terpikir pun pasal benda camni, kitorang Form5 still lagi entah hapa2. Apa kesah senior dah kawin ke belum. Janji study.

Ps/ was dreaming someone has a blog.

Ilalliqa' salam alaikum

I will be studying after this

,Suami isteri dari planet berbeza

2010-12-03T12:20:00.000-08:00

Rasanya apa yang mamat ni cakap mostly ada diceritakan dalam buku Ustaz Hasrizal atupun buku Men are from Mars, Women Are from venus. Tapi ianya menarik la jika diceritakan begini kan. Walaupun terasa sedikit meremang bulu roma untuk saya ceritakan di sini, namun saya buat juga lah.

Ok saya ambil la intipati dari video. Lelaki dikenali sebagai seorang yang tak berapa pandai tunjukkan emosi, tidak ekspresif mungkin, bermasalah bila tiba masa untuk komunikasi kasih sayang atau...err...lll...lo...ve. Lelaki lebih suka menunjukkan. Manakala perempuan pula lebih baik dalam menunjukkan perasaan dengan meluahkannya.

Cara kita interpret sesuatu juga berbeza. Tatkala perempuan merungut mengenai sesuatu, lelaki melihatnya sebagai komplain, tidak menghargai sesuatu. Manakala si perempuan pula menganggap snag lelaki tidak mendengar.

Perempuan juga suka jika sang lelaki memberitahu bahawa mereka s****g perempuan tersebut. Yeah Im just a guy, cant even complete the word.

Cerita ni penah saya dan group bincangkan. Mengenai bagaimana perhubungan pasangan yang baru mendapat anak berubah. Selepas ada anak, si suami terasa kekok dengan kehadiran anak, kerana lelaki jarang mengetahui bagaimana nak asuh baby. Jadi mereka fokuskan kepada bekerja, supaya dapat bertindak sebagai seorang pencari rezeki dalam keluarga, sebagai seorang yang dominan, mengharapkan isteri nanti akan menghargai usahanya. Tapi, si isteri pula merasakan perbuatan suami untuk tumpukan pada kerja sebagai menjauhkan diri dari keluarga, jadi hubungan mereka semakin lama semakin jauh. Ada la beberapa teori lain.

Tapi saya terjumpa kajian yang dilakukan mengatakan bahawa perhubungan suami isteri semakin jauh setelah kelahiran anak. Ini adalah kajian terhadap orang barat la kot.

Ok2. Mesti peningkan apesal la tetiba cerita pasal nikah kawin ni. Sebenarnya tadi layan video ummahfilm jap. Dah seminggu stop movie atau series for the sake of exam, best jugak kan. But still, 5 years to go!!!

Ilalliqa' salam alaikum

I will be studying after this

Tolong la update wahai blog

2010-12-02T01:22:00.001-08:00

Ada satu blog. Jumpa waktu summer haritu. Lama sangat da x update. Tuan punya tengah study ke sampai x sempat nak usha blog. Haih :(

Ilalliqa' salam alaikum

I will be studying after this

Kecik2 main air bah

2010-11-30T04:28:00.001-08:00

Waktu kecik2 dahulu, saya kira memang jenis suka main air jugak la.

Satu tahun memang memori paling indah apabila ikan2 sepat, haruan bergelimpangan diatas tar jalan raya depan rumah. Uhh. Tu imej yang paling best pernah ada. Tapi saya tidakla pula pegi tangkap, tapi tengok orang tangkap la. Maklumla, dulu2, saya sebagai insan yang lemah lagi longlai, hehe. Sekarang tidak lagi!!! :)

Aduh, memori yang susah nak dapat. Sekarang, parit kat depan rumah pun dah semacam tersumbat. Nak sentuh air pun tak lalu, entah chemical apa yang ada kat dalam tuh.

Kadang2, parit kat depan tu la jadi port pegi main mercun. Bedil gesek orang KL panggil. Terbaik.

Walaupun saya dulu2 kira tak adventerous la orang katakan sebagai budak kampung, tapi ada juga time pegi redah banjir. Kadang2 sepupu ajak pegi tengok ayah dia tahan pukat kat sawah padi tepi sekolah rendah. Hui. Masuk terus hilang selipar, lesap dalam selut. Jangan harap la nak pegi cari balik, cari nahas je. Lintah2 berkeliaran. Dalam kepala otak saya hanya pikir, "Tolongla takde ular dalam air ni". Tapi terserempak la juga ular dok berenang suka hati kat dalam tu. Selamba je lalu depan mata. Cuak takbleh nak bayang. "Ko pehal selamba badak je mandi2 kat sini?!" Kataku kepada sang ular.

Sekarang tempat tu dah takde, dah dibina sekolah :(

Pastu kalau nak main air bah secara selamat dan sihat, saya main depan rumah je. Hulamak. Feeling gila. Abah gerak pagi2, pukul 5 pagi, nak tengok air dah sampai paras lutut kat depan rumah. Syok kot tengok kejadian2 yang jarang terjadi ni. Mana taknya. Depan rumah tu tempat orang lalu lalang je, pastu tiba2 ada pula ikan merayau kat kawasan tu. Hui. Best amat.

Tapi selalunya cepat je surut. Tengahari dah surut. Sekarang bah dah tak pernah jadi. :(

Memori sebagai budak kampung :)

Ps/ saya suspek housemate telah tanak nasi separuh masak. Terasa berkanji-kanji. Ah, telan la, kelaparan punya pasal.

Ilalliqa' salam alaikum

I will be studying after this

Quote of the day

2010-11-29T04:24:00.000-08:00

Terjumpa quote ni kat facebook. Ada senior post. Rasanya this is the quote of the day.

Bukanlah zuhud itu engkau meninggalkan dunia dan menyerahkannya kepada orang kafir untuk menikmatinya. Tapi zuhud yang sebenarnya ialah engkau memiliki seluruh isi dunia hinggakan nilai dunia ini seumpama tanah sahaja dan kau nafqahnya pada jalan Allah

Ilalliqa' salam alaikum

I will be studying after this